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  1. J

    Would like more control over the driver's screen

    I need that graph of battery usage like a hole in the head. And the album/station art is just a big, bright eyesore. I would love a clock and a speedometer (my wheel in favorite position hides this essential info). I have seen some posts here that intimate that the ability to edit/rearrange the...
  2. J

    Another update weirdness

    Can anyone explain the utility of moving the clock and gear position readout from the left side to the right side of the driver's screen? Seems so gratuitous, just one more thing to get used to. (eyeballs never have got used to the various ways Tesla protects me from dangerous lane changes...
  3. J

    Wet rear camera

    "Wiping works at low speeds." Yeah, like under five miles an hour so your passenger can jump out and run around back of the car and wipe. WTF kind of solution is "wipe" when it's raining and you're on the freeway? Tesla should not install a rear-facing camera that becomes part of the driving...
  4. J

    Constant cracking sound in speakers; sporadic loss of audio

    My 2013 Volt, likewise. Always got the contact right, always made the right call, never had an audio problem. I do love my Model S but it's pretty depressing that its phone/audio system ("Call Danny Houghton" becomes "call Denver Platypus") is so bad.
  5. J

    Constant cracking sound in speakers; sporadic loss of audio

    Same issue as of a couple of days ago. But only radio so far, Bluetooth from my phone comes out great, which means it isn't the speakers. There was an update last night which didn't fix it, so if it's something the engineers are aware of, they need to get busy. My main concern is that, if this...
  6. J

    Model S Technical / Mechanical Issues

    Not sure if this comes under the heading "technical/mechanical," but all of a sudden my radio stations are crackling, like a bad solder at the antenna of a 50's heap. Bluetooth comes out great, so it's not the speakers. Anyone?
  7. J

    Mcu2 holiday update

    Right side steering wheel controls half dead. After the last update (and coincidentally after a visit to the Service Center to get the frunk latch adjusted), the scroll wheel and talk button are DOA. The screen button chooses "Fan Speed" but the wheel doesn't work, so not only can the choices...
  8. J

    Tesla Model S frunk opened while driving blocking a view of the road

    According to Tesla, it's the placement of the secondary latch that is the problem, i.e. that it has been installed too far back to engage. Not sure how they address this -- repositioning same latch with new holes, or installing a new latch with a longer tongue?
  9. J

    Smart Air Suspension - how long does it take to raise?

    When our 2019 Model S is put into park in our home garage, it raises all the way up and the small distance makes it much easier for my old bones to exit the car. What I would like is if every time the car is put into park, anywhere, it rises up so my old bones can get out with similar ease. Is...
  10. J

    Sold NJ: Model S Floor Mats

    Does anyone of quality make floor mats to go with white or cream interior? I can't find anything...
  11. J

    The Yoke Lover’s master thread! 😀😍🥰😘

    Yeah, the brakes cost me my car. Boo-hoo...
  12. J

    The Yoke Lover’s master thread! 😀😍🥰😘

    Not really. At normal driving speed, those are pretty gentle curves. And what I do, and was taught to do, is feed the wheel around keeping hands more or less 3-9 so that I have max travel available in both directions should anything go wrong.
  13. J

    The Yoke Lover’s master thread! 😀😍🥰😘

    That's good to know, but lacking in detail. I get that you're a hot driver, but how do you make a tight turn at speed without crossing your arms over?
  14. J

    Firming up the Brake Pedal on Legacy S

    I never really had to stand on the brakes with our 2016 90D, until late last May. Then, a guy pulled over and stopped without warning on a narrow road -- we were all going fast and then suddenly he wasn't. I stood hard on the brakes and sailed right into him, airbags out, insurance totaled the...
  15. J

    The Yoke Lover’s master thread! 😀😍🥰😘

    Obviously, I'm opening myself to some juvenile comments, but I still have to ask -- how is the yoke a safe wheel? Where I live, I drive mountain roads with tight-but-fast corners. I've always driven corners with hands at quarter-to-three, never crossing my wrists over under any circumstances...
  16. J

    Tesla Recalls Over 475,000 U.S. Cars on Camera, Trunk Issues

    Okay, very relieved to see that yes, there is a secondary latch. Popped, waited and...I've stuck my finger into tighter things but none so uncomfortable. Anyway, unlatched the seclatch. So now, the question is, have I just proved that I have an effective seclatch with no need to go through the...
  17. J

    Tesla Recalls Over 475,000 U.S. Cars on Camera, Trunk Issues

    Okay, you're making things clearer: the frunk secondary latch is a part-time latch, intended to function conveniently. So let's say I pop the frunk and wait a few minutes, the seclatch will operate, right? Looking at the surfaces available I do not see anything I can put my finger on to trip...
  18. J

    Tesla Recalls Over 475,000 U.S. Cars on Camera, Trunk Issues

    If your frunk pops on the freeway, you don't have several minutes to see how things turn out. Don't see what purpose this feature serves. I guess if you inadvertently pop and then drive, but that isn't my main concern, which is the lack of a secondary catch, at least on my vehicle.
  19. J

    Tesla Recalls Over 475,000 U.S. Cars on Camera, Trunk Issues

    They wouldn't send mobile out five miles to adjust my headlights, but sent a guy out to replace the lead-acid battery which involved a great deal of deconstruction. Go figure what makes the cut and what doesn't.
  20. J

    Tesla Recalls Over 475,000 U.S. Cars on Camera, Trunk Issues

    The email alternates between "trunk" and "frunk" in a very disturbing way. No one cares if the trunk (you know, the one in the back) opens in flight. OTOH, the frunk opening at speed could be a disaster. It would be nice to think they could write a coherent letter on the subject. That said, I've...
  21. J

    Tesla ranks 2nd worst in Consumer reports reliability survey

    Our 2016 Model S has been totally reliable in every way. It would be great to have Airplay or some better way of accessing the phone, but other than that...it's been perfect. Fit and finish, user interface (though I wish they hadn't moved so many buttons to the bottom of the screen a few years...
  22. J

    Replace key fobs trigger low fob battery message

    This may not apply to others getting the message in error, but it turns out in my case, the error was mine, all mine. When I replaced the keyfob batteries, I mistakenly replaced one of them with the old battery instead of the new (they are identical-looking). When I rectified the mistake, the...
  23. J

    Model S Technical / Mechanical Issues

    This is about warranty replacement of the VCM to Upgrade 8GB eMMC. I don't know what that means, but they're willing to do it for free as a recall item. I've checked the threads I could find and don't yet have a satisfactory answer. I'm old and have owned a load of cars -- my experience has...
  24. J

    Adjusting Headlight Angle

    Every time I've ever "popped" panels off a car, in the door, under the hood, the battery cover, whatever...it never went back together right. Some little plastic tit broke off or a threaded hole wouldn't line up. They were clearly not made to be removed in the first place except in a shop with...
  25. J

    Model S Software/Firmware wishlist

    I would like to be able to completely disable heated seats. I live in SoCal, don't need 'em and never will. But Dog forbid I'm bumping along on one of our miserable streets, trying to drive and touch the HVAC fan icon (that has mysteriously been located at the very BOTTOM of the screen, where...
  26. J

    Model S Software/Firmware wishlist

    I I had a 2012 Volt. Every voice command worked perfectly. The phone voice command knew who I wanted to call--every time! I love the Model S, but I sure miss that, and am further aggravated by knowing the technology predated my Model S by six years!
  27. J

    Tesla to recall almost all MS and MX sold in China over suspension issue

    I assume you're either kidding or don't live in Los Angeles. Our roads make the most luxurious auto feel like a dump truck. My only question, which I don't see answered here, is: I have a 2016 Model S, made and purchased in the US. Do I need to be worried about a front suspension collapse...
  28. J

    Taking a long time to get rolling.

    Sorry, but a bit confused. If the update did NOT enable it, then it would be OFF, no? Are you saying that the wait is a symptom of saving energy? In that case, I will feel more patient since the whole reason for buying a Tesla was to save energy.
  29. J

    Taking a long time to get rolling.

    After we'd had out 2016 Model S for a while, it started making us wait "One moment while systems boot up" or some such verbiage. Okay, not convenient but livable. Now, I get in the car and sit there with a black driver's screen, even after the main screen has lit up, and nothing. No "by your...
  30. J

    Six weeks into Jaguar i-pace ownership - maybe lemon-law candidate

    If you loved Jags in the 70's, then you are a hardy soul, indeed.
  31. J

    Accident - Got hit from behind

    I remember back in '17, when we'd only had our S for a while, it got a whack-a-post from a valet. Nothing big, but had to be repaired, and it was on the hotel, so off I went to the Tesla-approved body shop. I was still in the glow of new ownership and was appalled to see how many seriously...
  32. J

    Model S Software/Firmware wishlist

    Geez, guys --- this is a "wishlist" thread. A person can wish without being challenged on the silliness of their wish or to "write it yourself," can't they?
  33. J

    voice command problems? try this...

    How one presses the button seems unimportant when the functionality of voice commands (esp. re the phone) is so lousy.
  34. J

    voice command problems? try this...

    Sorry to hear that,
  35. J

    voice command problems? try this...

    I've always done press-and-release. Then sat there and listened when it suggested I call people I've never heard of and certainly don't have in my contacts list. There was an update last night that claims to have rebuilt the voice command system to use more natural language. Maybe now if I say...
  36. J

    Model S Software/Firmware wishlist

    Apple play or any BT connection that can bypass the HORRIBLE hands-free phone.
  37. J

    Check Out the Cybertruck Promo Photos

    Have yet to see a picture that shows the "pick-up" part. I see two rows of seats and a sleek hatch-back look, but if it's a pickup, then where do I pile all my gardening tools, a mattress and two dogs?
  38. J

    Blog Tesla Horn to Get Custom Sounds – Goats, Farts, Coconuts

    I say, "Call so-and-so, mobile" and I get a name I've never seen before in my life. On the second or third try I usually get the name I originally asked for...then have to sort (while looking at the panel) through their landline, vacation home, fax and mobile numbers to pick the one I want. My...
  39. J

    Blog Tesla Horn to Get Custom Sounds – Goats, Farts, Coconuts

    Great. Then reset the wheel to handle the fan. Then reset it to do one of the dozen other things it does -- all of which require looking at the panel and choosing. Sorry, all I asked for was the same voice command phone that I had in my 2013 Volt and my 2009 Lexus. Jeez.
  40. J

    Blog Tesla Horn to Get Custom Sounds – Goats, Farts, Coconuts

    And while this kind of nonsense is being added, the hands-free phone calling feature is still hovering in the 1990's and you have to take your eyes off the road to find the tiny icon that [fill in the blank for a given function]. I love driving my Model S, but am madder than a hornet at the...
  41. J

    Model S Software/Firmware wishlist

    I want the voice-operated calling to work like it should. Is that a lot to ask? My iPhone is connected to the car just fine. But I say, "Call [my wife's name], mobile" and I might get a suggested name that is no one I know or have ever known. If it gets my wife's name right, I have to scroll...
  42. J

    Flat Tire Today.... Great Warning System!

    I was unaware of the advisability of carrying puck-pads for jacking up a Tesla. I went immediately to Amazon after reading this thread and found lots of them -- but the only ones specifically for Tesla were all for Model 3 and looked very different from the slotted disks. Does this mean Model S...
  43. J

    Booting up car takes longer

    It is totally random. After a month out of town, the car started right up. A few days later, ran into the store for one item, came back less than ten minutes later and the car had to go through the "booting up" song and dance. If there's a solution to this, I haven't seen or been told about it...
  44. J

    iPhone X and Bluetooth connectivity issues

    Sorry but that simply is not possible. I have several devices that work perfectly well with both X and XS Max. Little, tiny things that cost a paltry sum compared to what the Model S cost. Oh, and a nine-year-old Lexus, too. It is both inconceivable and unforgivable that I should have ANY...
  45. J

    Best way to leave Model S for a month?

    What is the best way to leave the Model S during a month-long vacation? I'm thinking plugged in with a lower peak charge?
  46. J

    Thinking about joining legal action on recent massive price cut

    Two weeks after we bought our P90D in 2016, with one camera -- ONE! -- they started selling the model with four cameras, suitable for autopilot. The salesman didn't say a word, let us buy a car that was going to lose a fair amount of value in two weeks. I was used to salesmen who'd tell you that...
  47. J

    Booting up car takes longer

    Always share. Yes.
  48. J

    Booting up car takes longer

    Thanks for the short story...er, informative post. While, as with Windows 3.1 and other dodgy but ultimately useful software, there is no doubt a reason for each bit of strange behavior, buried somewhere deep in the guts of the code. But for us folks who don't have access to it and wouldn't know...
  49. J

    Booting up car takes longer

    The latest firmware is full of bugs -- some apparently placed on purpose. But hey, what's to complain? We have whoopee cushion!
  50. J

    Booting up car takes longer

    Wow, how'd you arrange that? I'd give anything. But for this issue to have arisen for you...now THAT is strange.