...what is too hot for the car batts?...
1) For the main manual, the manual says:
"Temperature Limits
For better long-term performance, avoid exposing Model X to ambient temperatures above 140° F (60° C) or below -22° F (-30° C) for more than 24 hours at a time."
...come on automatically by sensing the batteries need to cool down...or is that a manually operated effort?
As
@ajdelange mentioned: Automatically
You can also attempt to manually turn the battery's heater on by turning on the cabin heater and look at your phone app on the "Climate" page, if there's a snow icon, the battery heater is on, if there's no snow icon, then it's not that cold for the battery to have its heater on.
There's no such similar above procedure if you want to manually turn on the battery's cooler. It's automatic with no icon indicator.
2) For 12V battery:
It has no thermoregulation at all because it's cheaper to sacrifice a 12V battery than to equip a similar above heater/cooler system for it.
Typical 12V battery can freeze at about 32F to -58F (0C to -50C) depending on its state of charge, its frozen liquid expands and it becomes irreparable.
Its favorite temperature is about 80F (26.7C).
Damage could start at 110F to 125F.