Just an update in my case for anyone that sees a similar issue with no clear resolution.
The Tesla recommenced electrician came back out, checked my wiring (6-3), replaced the breaker, and replaced my NEMA 14-50 Outlet same day. When charging at the max 40a I continued to see high temps around 135°F, but not as high as the 160°F I saw in the plug after about 1.5 hours of charging. I reduced the amps to 30, and did not have the excessive heating issues at that rate. Note that ambient temps were 95°F to 105°F outside during this time.
This morning here is Austin we had a cold front pass through. It’s 47°F outside and overcast, 65°F in my garage... wonderful compared to the 97° that we had yesterday. I decided to do a four hour charge at the full 40A while I could watch it. The plug never exceeded 109°F during the charge. My breaker panel is outside, directly on the other side of the plug in my garage. It seems to be amazing at conducting ambient and solar heat. That combined with the expected temp rise when in use seems to be pushing things to the excessively high temps in the summer. I’ll keep watching it for a while, looks like I’ll just need to start reducing amps in the summer.