I agree completely, but Tesla service did not. They maintained that there were no problems with the car, nor with the UMC. So, I am left with only one option when in similar conditions in the future, drive the car to raise the battery temperature, as that was sure to work.
Tesla told me multiple times during my conversations in email and phone that the car will not draw anything from the plug when the battery is cold soaked to -23C. The battery must be heated from itself during this initial period because drawing current from the plug would otherwise put current into the battery cells, as well as drawing current for the heater. Meaning, the plug cannot be drawn from, as there is no way to prevent current from going into the battery in this case (-23C battery temperature).
One thing to be clear about, our Tesla is a garage queen all week long, getting no more than 4 km of driving daily. We then road trip every single weekend, hundreds of km of driving, up to 1000 km in a weekend a few times. So, while we drove 17000 km in 6 months, almost all of it was weekend with some evening driving. This is very different from most people, and I know you have a sizeable weekday commute, which warms the battery every day. Therefore, with a completely cold soaked -23C battery on Friday overnight, our car is in a different condition to many here on Saturday morning, where the latent heat of the Friday commute would have likely allowed overnight charging.