I don't deny the pointlessness of side to side rotation - that's why I deleted that part of your post in the quote.
But I don't drive aggressively and I don't drive 1985 oldsmobile. Latest example is on a 2007 car - front wear is huge (I neglected on tire rotation and my service did not insist on it when I was thinking they do it by default unless asked not to) where as back wear is much less.
It certainly is due to the way load is distributed across axes when braking (and accelerating too of course), but the point still stands, you do not need to drive antique cars to actually need to rotate your tires and get meaningful benefit from that.
Also tire manufacturers probably also know something about this, unless you are fine with half the tire wear warranty, might as well still do the rotations even if you don't believe in them