Artsci I can relate to your frustration. I had a first-time collision repair experience in early 2013 when I owned an Audi Q5, which I'd gotten in 2011 only because Tesla had no SUV available. Someone ran a stop sign and hit the front left side car at about 15mph, launching a horrible experience of corrupt towtruck operators, incompetent AAA dispatchers, corrupt nearby body shop operators where the car was towed (they tried to defraud AAA and my insurnce co), and a really slow and generally awful authorized collision repair center. In the end, insurance paid $14000 for the repairs. I had to rent a car for 55 days. Took that long to get car back. Insurance only paid for 30 days of the car rental!
During the wait I began work with an electrician to install a NEMA 14-50, a project that took 100 days and cost $3650 (don't ask). Somewhere in the middle of all that, I confirmed my Model S order. Shortly after getting the Audi back---while it had tons of new parts and from outside you could not tell it'd ever been in an accident, it never again "felt"right when driving---I took it over to Carmax, got a very good deal on it, and that was that. The Tesla arrived shortly thereafter and I've never looked back.
Collision repair companies are in my experience, really horrible companies. But, like phone and energy utilities and hospitals, they know they don't have to care. Like with hospitals, they gouge huge sums out of insurance compenies, charge top dollar for replacement parts from the auto manufacturer, and all the while the customer feels ripped off. It's a racket.