Yes, unfortunately Tesla lives in this fast, never look back world, and what happened in 2017/18 stays in 2017/18. Even when it happened, it took quite a bit of arm twisting and education to make Tesla retrofit the headlights. And most Service Centers didn't quite know how to reconfigure them properly. I actually had to direct my Service Center to a post here that told them what configuration and modules they had to update to get it to work! Now, 3 years after it happened, probably nobody who was familiar with the fiasco is left. And since you are in the UK where it was never a big issue, you may have even worse problems getting it taken care of. Even though you are willing to pay for it, if they are not familiar with updating the body module configuration, it still won't work.
Not that it makes you feel any better, but you can barely notice the adaptive headlights while driving. But I understand your feeling that you just want what you're suppose to have in your car...