I just completed the DIY, it is not an easy job and based on my experience it’s better to buy the whole thing from Tesla and you let Tesla install it. Here are the reasons/my experience:
- you have to find the hitch that's not damaged, first one I bought off eBay was bent so I had to get refund after involving eBay. seller tried to claim that I may have dropped the hitch and bent it. if you are buying one, tell the seller to put it on flat surface and show pic making sure both flat parts at the end where the 3 bolts go sit flush on the flat surface.
- Once you have the hitch, if it came with the harness then skip this step or else you have to built one since Tesla doesn't sell the harness by itself. to build one, you can buy the 7 pin connector off Amazon that comes with the wire for the end that goes into the back of the plug on the hitch, for the other end you have the buy the connector, the small pins 1.5mm, the large pins 2.8mm and the seals, crimp the wires to the pins and know which pin to put where in the connector
- Now you have your hitch ready with the harness, to install you can rely on YouTube Videos and the Service Manual available on service.tesla.com to:
- Remove rear bumper (you have to remove some things in the trunk, remote the tail lights, remove the trim around the rear wheels, open some 8 and 10mm bolts and clips and remove the bumper
- Remove the Crash Bar thing that's in place where the hitch will go
- place the hitch and tighten the 6 nuts (3 on each end) with 46.1 lb ft torque
- Remove the white cap off the connector that's already there on the left side of the bumper area and plug the harness in it (steps and how to route the wire are available on service.tesla.com that show the hitch install
- Once that is done then put things together
- buy Toolbox subscription to enable Trailer Mode (this will give you the option on the display to turn on and off trailer mode
- if you turn on trailer mode and you see blue trailer icon on the display then most likely you don't have the Left Body Control Module that's mounted under the dash hear the driver's left knee on the pillar. That icon should be red if trailer is not connected when you turn trailer mode on. you can verify that by enable 4 way flashers and use multimeter on the trailer pins to see if you get voltage on the LEFT and RIGHT Stop/Turn signs pins. in my case of 2023 MY built in Fremont, I didn't have the Controller with the pins that provide power to hitch harness my part number was: 1497847-39-D, I needed 1497847-02-D. there are 3-4 pins on the left side of the top most horizontal connector on that module that were missing (in the Body 1 Connector)
- Now you have the module installed and should see voltage at the hitch.
I didn't have to deal with any calibration issues because I got Tesla to replace the module for me.
if you want to learn or you get the hitch for free then you can do all that yourself (I have done it). but if you are trying to save money, it's not possible (when you buy the hitch, subscription to enable trailer mode, module and your time) and while doing all that you have to make sure you don't break or scratch things along the way, it is just not worth it.
also be aware that if you have Hardware 4 in your Y then that requires a newer type of hitch the ones that work on HW3 is not compatible.