Yeah, I bet silly regulations are partly to blame, but I think also Tesla is overreacting, i.e. the force to make autopilot to notice your input on wheel is about 5-10 time stronger on Tesla than on most of other brands. Someone stated that Tesla got bad rating as it allowed to drive 30 seconds without touching a wheel - it could easily be 7-20 seconds if:
1) It detect light touch and not require direction changing jiggling or apply significant downforce
2) If it would've did audio signal (it does but when it's too late)
3) If it wouldn't block me for the rest of the tip for not jerking a wheel mid turn due to blue light flashing
Tesla is WAY too aggressive with that apparently not winning any scores.
that's not how it works, but it does take practice.
Its a tiny amount of force needed
As others have already said, it doesn't need squeezing, jerking, holding or anything else, it just needs gentle rotational pressure.
The exercise I tried has been a help for some.
First get out onto a highway for fewer distractions then engage AP
Then using one hand on one side of the wheel start to very gently apply rotational pressure like you're trying to change lanes.
As you apply more pressure you can start to feel the movements the car is taking to keep you in the lane.
Obviously if its a really straight road there isn't much, but pretty soon you can get a really good idea of the amount needed.
Initially you may find you keep disengaging AP by applying too much pressure, just give it moment and re-engage AP again.
Once you've got it, it will only take a few fingers to apply that force and you're good to go.