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Car and Driver's Ezra Dyer Writes a Letter to Tesla in April 2015 Issue

Discussion in 'News' started by TI Sailor, Mar 3, 2015.

  1. TI Sailor

    TI Sailor Member

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    Ezra Dyer, Car and Driver Magazine’s new “Carolinas Editor” and former Automobile Magazine scribe, has written an article in the latest (April 2015) issue describing A Letter to Tesla, from your friendly local car dealers, otherwise known as the “Totally Useful Retail Dealer Society.” Here are just a few of the highlights:

    From the law offices of Dwayne & Johnson, he orders Tesla “to cease and desist. Or just cease. Or desist. We can discuss the options…That’s a situation known as ‘negotiating’. Something you wouldn’t know much about, Tesla”.

    He defends his organization and its consumer value by pointing to, among other things, their “robust ethics certification process, the Dealers United Professional Education Seminars”. He notes, “Salespeople certified under this course are courteous, professional, and required by law to disclose how many felonies they’ve committed.”

    Of course he goes to great lengths to show how important dealerships are, especially to related economic sectors like the “inflatable-dancing guy industry” and the “low-budget family-TV commercial business”. Also, while TURDS concedes Tesla’s “don’t need oil changes”, the organization stresses Tesla’s might benefit from “electron refurbishment every three months”.


    I’m not sure if the article is online, but it’s certainly worth a read. Had me ROFL:biggrin:
     
  2. Grendal

    Grendal Active Member

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    That is awesome. Ezra Dryer really nailed it.
     
  3. Mayhemm

    Mayhemm Model S P85+ "Lola"

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    One of the best things I've ever read! Well done, sir!
     
  4. aaeverett

    aaeverett Member

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    that made my morning...!
     
  5. mpt

    mpt Electrics are back

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    And buried in there is a truth;

    They missed off "and we're on the hook legally if the product kills someone" but, I'd never considered that angle before.
     
  6. rogbmw

    rogbmw Member

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    HaHaHaHa....that was great. Made my morning!
     
  7. TI Sailor

    TI Sailor Member

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    His "Dyer Consequences" Automobile Mag columns were usually gems like this one. He's one of my favorite auto mag writers, second only to Natalie Neff (Autoweek). Unfortunately I was forced to cancel my subscription to Autoweek when their head hancho, Dutch Mandel, decided he needed to devote an entire column advising readers why TSLA, and thus Tesla, was a bad investment.
     
  8. Park2670

    Park2670 Member

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    I laughed so hard when I read "Totally Useful Retail Dealer Society"... Or in short TURDS.
     
  9. richrootes

    richrootes Member

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    Very good - though I think I'd have been more cutting about the mysterious 'flushes' that seem to populate ICE service receipts these days (Brake Flush, Oil Flush, Transmission Flush - all absolute bollocks)

    Electron Flush, Tyre Flush (because, you know, you really should change the air in your tyres), Heater Vent Flush,,,, could all be used by GM on the Volt service schedule
     
  10. AudubonB

    AudubonB Mild-mannered Moderator Lord Vetinari*

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    Nice barbecue.

    Was there a bon mot in his choice of law firms? I can't figure what Dwayne & Johnson might refer to, but thought it must be something...????????
     
  11. Grendal

    Grendal Active Member

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    The law firm's motto is: "Place Your Trust in The Rock!"
     
  12. SamT

    SamT Member

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    I think the law firm stated on the article is incorrect - it is not Dwayne & Johnson, but "Dewey, Cheetham and Howe".
     
  13. napabill

    napabill Active Member

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    #14 napabill, Mar 4, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2015
    I really think it is unfair that we are all piling on to the Auto Dealers. Clearly they provide absolutely necessary services to the car owning public. As evidence, I got this from my local Mercedes Dealer this am....
    MB Clock.jpg
     
  14. Mayhemm

    Mayhemm Model S P85+ "Lola"

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    Wow. What's involved in setting the frickin' clock, if they think booking an appointment and driving down to the dealership is less hassle than adjusting it one hour?!
     
  15. Park2670

    Park2670 Member

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    My second job was working for a local BMW dealership. Each season change was slammed as we "fixed" heater and A/C as we changed the settings from cold to hot and set the time. People couldnt ever figure out how to do this on their own.
     
  16. TexasEV

    TexasEV Active Member

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    Anything to get you in the door. Who knows what problem they might find as they're setting the clock?
     
  17. Cosmacelf

    Cosmacelf Active Member

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    I used to have a Mercedes SL55. Nice car. But I swear every 6 months I had to call them up to figure how how to set the time back and forth one hour for DST. It was that unintuitive. I think I finally started remembering how to do it after 4 years...
     
  18. evme

    evme Member

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    I wonder how much of a battle dealerships had with Mercedes over automatic clocks. Cause remember kids, automatic clocks kill jobs!
     
  19. smac

    smac Active Member

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    I wonder if people turn up an hour late for their clock resetting appointment :D
     

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