(moderator note)
Note that although I changed the thread title from "something scary happened to me" to the current title, I am not trying to intimate that the situation was not "scary" to the OP. No one can tell another person how to feel, or how something feels to them.
Rather, I have a very strong belief that a thread title should indicate what the thread is about, and "something scary" does not indicate anything about what the thread was about.
Many of us might not have found the issue scary, but the OP reported it was scary to them. New technology can be intimidating for some. I have a fairly decent "nose" for threads that feel like they are planted as trolling, etc, and this one does not feel like that to me, at all. It simply feels like a new owner who was confused about something that happened with their car, and was scared by it.
Lets all try to remember that everyone adapts differently, and for many, this is their first EV so everything it does is magnified.
OP, I understood what you were trying to say with "violently off / violently on" even though those words tend to bring a certain view / response. Tesla's are rolling computers, so those of us who think of them that way tend to not be surprised by these type of things. There would have been more of an issue if it didnt turn back on, etc.
Good luck, you will get used to some of the idiosyncrasies of owning a rolling computer that doesnt try to hide the fact its a rolling computer.