Hotels don’t know and mislead customers.
While I understand your frustration, the two things you say say above are mutually exclusive.
Either hotels don't know, or they mislead. They can't do both (to mislead, you have to have some knowledge!)
And believe me, if you have found a hotel that actually knows how the chargers work (or in some cases know that they even exist)--especially enough to be able to "mislead"--they you have found a unicorn.
Any hotel that installed a Gen 1 destination charger (likely many years ago), is not out to "mislead" newer Model S owners. They are lucky if they advertise EV charging at all on their web sites, but even if they do, I certainly am not expecting them to (a) understand the intricacies of what models, models years (and even build dates in the case of Tesla) work with their chargers and (b) find a way to communicate that on their website which even if you're luck only has a single "EV charging available" line on the list of amenities on their website.
It's appropriate to be upset with Tesla over this, and they really should work to address the issue. But I can't really find fault with hotels that are only trying to provide an amenity to their customers and are getting caught up in what is an engineering tradeoff (or blunder?) gone bad.