Divorce and the Big Car Payment

[⚡️ELECTROMAN⚡️]

I'm looking forward to living in my MS. If women don't like the Model S then what are they drawn to? Minivans and SUVs? I don't think you would want a woman that likes you for the car you drive anyway. I'm pretty sure not many would be turned off by a Tesla, unless they think you're an idiot for spending that much on a car.

 

[Xenoilphobe]

This car is both a chick magnet and guy magnet - my wife about died when we were at the beach and some young ladies in an old Miata pulled up and offered to me meet at their hotel for drinks + + + ... if I would let them drive the car... my wife was leaning forward picking up a book and when she sat up and looked over - you could see the shock on their faces as she reprimanded them for the offer they made!!!!
Classic - wish I had it on video... old chick schools two young chicks - totally caught them off guard.

 

[kort677]

I'm looking forward to living in my MS. If women don't like the Model S then what are they drawn to? Minivans and SUVs? I don't think you would want a woman that likes you for the car you drive anyway. I'm pretty sure not many would be turned off by a Tesla, unless they think you're an idiot for spending that much on a car.

if the women you find are seeing you because of your car it explains a lot about you and the basis for your original posting

 

[kort677]

This car is both a chick magnet and guy magnet - my wife about died when we were at the beach and some young ladies in an old Miata pulled up and offered to me meet at their hotel for drinks + + + ... if I would let them drive the car... my wife was leaning forward picking up a book and when she sat up and looked over - you could see the shock on their faces as she reprimanded them for the offer they made!!!!
Classic - wish I had it on video... old chick schools two young chicks - totally caught them off guard.

your wife has no sense of humor

 

[⚡️ELECTROMAN⚡️]

Don't more than half of marriages end in divorce anymore? For some strange reason almost everyone that has posted to this thread acts like it's an absurd concept. Is there anyone out there that can relate to being divorced or in a loveless marriage? If things aren't going well you don't necessarily break the family apart just because that sounds like a good idea to people on the outside. I take all things into consideration and do what I think is best for the family that I started.

 

[CuriousG]

Yes. Shinto.

You forgot the Japanese people though.

 

[S4WRXTTCS]

Don't more than half of marriages end in divorce anymore? For some strange reason almost everyone that has posted to this thread acts like it's an absurd concept. Is there anyone out there that can relate to being divorced or in a loveless marriage? If things aren't going well you don't necessarily break the family apart just because that sounds like a good idea to people on the outside. I take all things into consideration and do what I think is best for the family that I started.

I don't think it's the absurdity of it, but the sadness of it. It's easier to joke about it, and to avoid the pain that was at the heart of it.

There are no good answers.

There are just perspectives that fit one kind of person, but don't work at all for another. Like I'm a strong believer in independence, and in trying to maintain as much personal freedom as possible while still being committed in time, and energy to whoever I've committed myself to.

For me there is no question that you should get the car in your name only. There are some good arguments that your life needs rebalancing before you commit to such an obligation.

I'm a strong believer in freedom. A lot of resentment in relationships, and in life comes from not having freedom. Of having so many obligations, and expectations that you can't breathe.

In every relationship I end up in I try to push the person up to improve their freedom not because I'm some great person, but because it means that it ties me down less. To make sure that they're not reliant on me, and that gives me freedom. So it means in this case keeping the car separate from her so it doesn't weigh her down even if only psychologically.

 

[Nrk7001]

Are you in a community property state? If so, you might as well save the $500 and have her cosign (since it will be community property anyway). If you aren't, then it's only $500 take the higher rate.

this is the technically the right answer, although there are a lot of other good comments on this thread.

 

[S4WRXTTCS]

Oregon isn't actually a community property state. Instead it's a separate property state with complicated property distribution laws.

When it comes to debt (which a car is largely going to be for awhile) it's best to keep the car in your name only. That way it can't impact her credit rating after divorce even if you went into a deep dark depression, and couldn't make the car payments.

Oregon's Family Expense Statute, Separate Property State & Bankruptcy - Butcher Law Office, LLC

 

[wamochi]

For some strange reason almost everyone that has posted to this thread acts like it's an absurd concept.

i think most of the shock comes from the fact that you are talking about it publicly to strangers in this forum ...

 

[jerry33]

You forgot the Japanese people though.

I haven't quite gotten the 007 mode to work properly yet so I couldn't drive to Japan. The priest happens to be one of the few non-Japanese Shinto priests.

 

[immolated]

It actually doesn't matter. Anything you buy during marriage is split. Any debts acquired during marriage are also split.

 

[Rockster]

Don't more than half of marriages end in divorce anymore? For some strange reason almost everyone that has posted to this thread acts like it's an absurd concept. Is there anyone out there that can relate to being divorced or in a loveless marriage? If things aren't going well you don't necessarily break the family apart just because that sounds like a good idea to people on the outside. I take all things into consideration and do what I think is best for the family that I started.

I once read that the "half of marriages end in divorce" meme is wrong, resulting from a highly publicized but deeply flawed study that calculated "x marriages and x/2 divorces occurred in time period y" but completely failed to account for people who were married prior to the start of time period y and were still married past the end of time period y. Accordingly, the researchers obtained a grossly inaccurate metric for marriages that ended in divorce. But, due to weak peer review and irresponsible journalism, the headline is all we remember and the meme became entrenched.

 

[kort677]

Don't more than half of marriages end in divorce anymore? For some strange reason almost everyone that has posted to this thread acts like it's an absurd concept. Is there anyone out there that can relate to being divorced or in a loveless marriage? If things aren't going well you don't necessarily break the family apart just because that sounds like a good idea to people on the outside. I take all things into consideration and do what I think is best for the family that I started.

if you're entering a marriage with the mindset that it isn't going to last, guess what? it probably won't last, so why enter into that marriage?

 

[kort677]

I once read that the "half of marriages end in divorce" meme is wrong, resulting from a highly publicized but deeply flawed study that calculated "x marriages and x/2 divorces occurred in time period y" but completely failed to account for people who were married prior to the start of time period y and were still married past the end of time period y. Accordingly, the researchers obtained a grossly inaccurate metric for marriages that ended in divorce. But, due to weak peer review and irresponsible journalism, the headline is all we remember and the meme became entrenched.

is that an example of fake news that some are awakening to?

 

[kavyboy]

I once read that the "half of marriages end in divorce" meme is wrong, resulting from a highly publicized but deeply flawed study that calculated "x marriages and x/2 divorces occurred in time period y" but completely failed to account for people who were married prior to the start of time period y and were still married past the end of time period y. Accordingly, the researchers obtained a grossly inaccurate metric for marriages that ended in divorce. But, due to weak peer review and irresponsible journalism, the headline is all we remember and the meme became entrenched.

Also, some people divorce multiple times. So for the three couples who are married for decades until death do they part, there is a guy who is married and divorced 3 times before he reaches the age of 21 (as a friend of mine did). So although half end in divorce, not half of all people get divorced.

 

[CuriousG]

I haven't quite gotten the 007 mode to work properly yet so I couldn't drive to Japan. The priest happens to be one of the few non-Japanese Shinto priests.

Sign me up when they have underwater SuperChargers.

 

[Max*]

Don't more than half of marriages end in divorce anymore?

That's a misleading statistic.

 

[jeepn30]

I'm just trying gain some insight from those that may have gone through a divorce and had cars that weren't paid off. My thinking was if we cosigned then I would have to refinance, most likely with worse terms, or pay off the car from the divorce settlement. There's probably no practicle way to protect both parties without eliminating the cosigned loan, but maybe there is. I'm assuming it will be an amicable divorce with the assets being split evenly. The advantage to buying the car before the divorce would be that we would split the depreciation at the time of settlement.

We got the Mrs. a 2007 Dodge Nitro R/T in January of 2007. March comes and said she wants a divorce. She said she could not afford the payments on the Nitro. So she traded it in for a Dodge Caliber, and my 8500 down payment returned a measly 500 bucks after depreciation.

 

[⚡️ELECTROMAN⚡️]

Thanks for keeping it real and sharing your pain with me. Were you guys both on the loan?