I'm not able to edit my original post for some reason so I'm adding a reply here. I'm the originator of this thread.
I made a short video of closing the handle on my finger, and it's taking it's sweet time uploading (and then processing I guess). But in doing this 10 second test, this was the mark left on my finger. I'm not being a wimp, this really doesn't feel great.
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What's happening is the handle presses your finger against the groove in the door panel above the handle. People are showing videos of pulling out the handle with a tissue, but I can attest that after trying this again today it required more force than I expected to pull the handle out. Perhaps different cars have different spring tensions, but it really pressed my fingers into this groove pretty good, as shown by the mark it left. That photo was some minutes after I did the test, and now as I look at my finger 30 min later there's still a divot in it.
I will have this looked at when I bring my car in next. My rear handles retract when they shouldn't, and don't open when they should, often. Like almost all the time. So either the handles are defective or my fob is losing connection to the car constantly or something. I'm sure they'll resolve it. I just wanted to post to say that I'm not crazy, I'm not wrong, and I'm not a wimp. At least not about this. Heights? I can't deal with heights.