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Dual access using our phones - what are we doing wrong?

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Hi all, 3 weeks into ownership of our 2022 M3 SR+ And still struggling with dual access. My wife and I both have a key and the app. We went through the phone key setup process, but it doesn’t remember our settings as we unlock the car - stays on previous driver. And now, it won’t let me in using my phone ( app is BT enabled). What are we doing wrong? If need be is there a way to delete both phones and start again? Lex just pointed us to Tesla and you know the rest….