even if Musk didn't want to be the focal point he is
Indeed. It takes someone with multiple attributes to succeed. Same for an athlete - rarely enough to be "fastest in class", also need to be "pushy" in early stages to get funding - and to be prepared to actually put in the hours of gruelling training (or in business long hours, evenings and weekends, working) ... then for a sportsperson aspiring to the highest level they need to become an ambassador - to attract sponsorship, or for a talent-scout to decide that they will do a good job in representing their country. People who succeed typically have a bunch of things going for them, and also are prepared to put up with being in the limelight. Not everyone is going to like them - some will resent their success - maybe even their, former, best friends ... or decide to become a stalker and all that sort of stuff that people in the public eye have to put up with. Not everyone wants that!
Try winning the lottery Big and see how that mucks everything up. Friends jealous and desert you. People you had no idea were friends arrive with their begging bowls! Thieves target you for the things you have just found you can afford to buy, or they kidnap your kids. Con artists target you as a soft touch.
There's a lot to be said for the big front man with the big ideas and vision. You can add Bezos to the list. All of them polarise opinion.
I think that's probably been the case "forever", I think that such people succeed in part because they are wired-differently and some of that wiring is "unconventional" shall we say! ... although news-travels-faster nowadays ... and fake-news with it ... so probably more noticeable now, than before
One thing that such people can do is attract the best talent. If Musk decides he wants to do "X", he can entice people who know about that to join him - some of them will have been desperately trying to get funding (and failing) - they just don't have the "ambassador" skills to achieve that - for boffin and anoraks with two heads the job offer would be nirvana. Budget big enough to do whatever you like, and the thrill of having-a-go. No doubt more lucrative to set up on your own and build it yourself ... but Dragon's Den littered with people who haven't accomplished that.
My memory may be faulty, but my recollection of reading his biography was that, as an engineer, he was able to understand the subject matter. So having attracted the best talent he then worked with them, his enquiring mind caused him to quiz them on everything, and he then wound up with a very significant degree of knowledge. Repeat that multiple times, over multiple such start-up-projects, and then, as the Boss, his decision making process for products is better than most of the other captains of industry out there who have been trained to "run a company", but don't have a detailed knowledge of the engineering behind the product. Steve Jobs another case in point.
I think he knows that whatever fine gets from the SEC, if any, is dwarfed by whatever financial gain he receives from making these statements in the first place
Dunno about SEC but IIRC if either party pulls out of the deal the "breakup fee" is $1B ... so if Musk is pulling out he had better have a jolly good, irrefutable, reason!