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Emily Litella July 4th Special Report:

Coastal Cruiser has been asked by ex Saturday Night reporter Emily Litella for equal time to reply to a story on Tesla. Here now is July 4th Special Correspondent Emily Litella with today's Holiday Headlines:

"Hello. What's this nonsense about Herman Munster, Crazy Guggenheim, Humphrey Bogart, and The Paparazzi being bullish on Tesla? I am a Tesla fan, but this report from Paparazzi seems very suspicious. It will confuse young people. And baby boomers -who know these are really TV characters, actors, and bad actors- will be insulted. I think this story is just trying to spread more Farts, Underwear, and Dragons. You know... FUD. I own 5 shares of Tesla stock and am very unhappy with this bad reporting. So let me give you a piece of my mind. I thin---"

cc: "Emily"
Emily: "I think tha--"
cc: "Excuse me Emily"
Emily: "I really do think tha--"
cc: "EMILY!!"
Emily: "WHAT!?"

cc: "Emily, the report came from an online pro-Tesla news source called 'Teslarati', not The Paparazzi." Here's the link: https://www.teslarati.com/tesla-q3-profitability-september-2018-gene-mun....

Emily: "Oh."

cc: "And that's not Herman Munster the report referred to. It's GENE Munster from Loopy Ventures--- wait. Damn it, now you've got me doing it. It's "Loup Ventures". Mr. Munster is a respected analyst who really is bullish on Tesla!"

Emily: "Oh."

cc: "And it's not Crazy Guggenheim. They were referring to Rob Cihra of Guggenheim Securities. Rob is also BULLISH on Tesla."

Emily: "Oh."

cc: "And Rob was not talking about Humphrey Bogart when he said: '...we continue to estimate that with Tesla now hitting its 5K/week production bogey for Model 3'. I think he meant that initial estimates fell short but that Tesla is now on target." It's a golfing term."

Emily: "I don't golf."

cc: "Right. And Charlie don't surf. Anyway, you may want to look up the meaning of FUD when we go off the air." You're basically wrong about everything."

Emily: "Oh. I see. Well then............. NEVER MIND!"

Links to the cast of characters:
  • Funny
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