Feeling judged...

[Lhshockey24]

I love my Model S 100D. Let me start out by saying that right away. Something however that I’ve dealt with is feeling and being judged negatively by friends and family for owning (leasing actually) such an expensive car. Even when I explain the fact that monthly costs after gas savings really aren’t much higher than my BMW X3, this car has a certain stigma that I’m not sure will ever go away.

We do pretty well financially for the Bay Area, but now after having leased this car, when people find out I have one all of a sudden “dinner is on me”. All of a sudden, we shouldn’t be complaining about the cost of our kid’s school, the cost of living out here, etc because “well, you have a Tesla, you can’t be hurting that bad.”

So I’m curious, is this something most of you deal with and how do you get past it. I try not to care too much what others think, but I also really dislike the feeling of being judged for the car I drive...

 

[Veritas1980]

Yes, I’ve heard the same many times now, the comments are ever present.

It bothered me in the beginning, but now I figured that it is mostly jealousy. I’ve started to respond with “Well, maybe if you manage your money better...” since 95% of these comments comes from people with similar or higher salaries than mine.

People’s insecurities can only be cured by themselves, it’s not on me to act as a punching bag.

 

[bonnie]

"And to keep that Tesla, I need to continue managing my money. I WISH I had money to blow!"

 

[Cyclone]

People’s insecurities can only be cured by themselves, it’s not on me to act as a punching bag.

I have thankfully managed to avoid that (to my knowledge, who knows what is said behind my back). My first instinct to that is really that these people aren't truly friends or good family. Those who tear down others aren't worth your time generally. I would treat them as an acquaintance and nothing more as this is showing their "true colors".

People’s insecurities can only be cured by themselves, it’s not on me to act as a punching bag.

A great way of putting it.

 

[Ande]

Jaulousy... Those are friends you say?

 

[mkspeedr]

Luckily my friends own new Teslas or Porsches - I have a 3 year old P85D - I make them buy lunch.

 

[Yinn]

I love my Model S 100D. Let me start out by saying that right away. Something however that I’ve dealt with is feeling and being judged negatively by friends and family for owning (leasing actually) such an expensive car. Even when I explain the fact that monthly costs after gas savings really aren’t much higher than my BMW X3, this car has a certain stigma that I’m not sure will ever go away.

We do pretty well financially for the Bay Area, but now after having leased this car, when people find out I have one all of a sudden “dinner is on me”. All of a sudden, we shouldn’t be complaining about the cost of our kid’s school, the cost of living out here, etc because “well, you have a Tesla, you can’t be hurting that bad.”

So I’m curious, is this something most of you deal with and how do you get past it. I try not to care too much what others think, but I also really dislike the feeling of being judged for the car I drive...

I completely understand, and I have 2. My speech goes along the lines of - blah blah blah, the really expensive ones are the fully upgraded performance models. Those suckers get up to $150k!! This is a base model (I have 75's, previously 60's)

The last part is what usually wins them.

When you figure out the cost/mile and take into account the incentives, the S is actually cheaper than a fully loaded Nissan Maxima. My X costs about the same as a Ford Explorer. I save about $500/month in gas alone, per car. And that's assuming I pay for electricity (I 90% solar coverage) and never touch a supercharger... I'm just too d@mn cheap otherwise to buy something like this...

I'm usually good at converting them into referrals at that point. But we have seen some who are just jealous; and a surprising amount of kids who generally admire and question - what do I need to do to get one of these? So it's not all bad.

One thing is for certain though. I have met more hard-working, hard-saving Tesla owners than I have of most other brands. While I'm sure they exist, I have not met many who are super affluent and bought one because they simply had cash to burn.

 

[Shock-On-T]

I understand your feelings.
I'm so in love with the technology I stretched to buy this car (originally reserved a 3). My friends are all about the same as me financially and we are all into cars, so they understand.
Where it is tricky is at work. My car is the best one in the car park, and I ain't the boss by a long shot. I'm not looking forward to this year's salary review :-(

 

[Cyclone]

Where it is tricky is at work. My car is the best one in the car park, and I ain't the boss by a long shot. I'm not looking forward to this year's salary review :-(

I didn't tell anyone at work except my manager since I took some time off to fly to DC, pick up the car, and drive it down (before Charlotte has a delivery center). He then couldn't contain himself and asked all about it in a team meeting. The next team meeting, he started with "Before anyone sits there thinking Cyclone gets paid more or less than others, remember that he is unmarried and has no kids. Keep that in mind when you wonder about expensive life decisions."

I guess someone said something behind my back, but it is good that my manager put whoever it was on the straight and narrow about it.

 

[brkaus]

Be confident! Be strong!

And see if you can get a "60" emblem from the service center

 

[Cyclone]

You could carry around a Model 3 spec sheet with "starting at $35k - incentives" with whatever is appropriate for your state (CA I presume from your location).

/jk

 

[kiwiguy]

Honestly, the real question is why do other peoples opinions matter to you?

I'm not trying to be a jerk, as this is something I've had to work on myself.

It says more about them than you.

 

[chadcristi]

I love my Model S 100D. Let me start out by saying that right away. Something however that I’ve dealt with is feeling and being judged negatively by friends and family for owning (leasing actually) such an expensive car. Even when I explain the fact that monthly costs after gas savings really aren’t much higher than my BMW X3, this car has a certain stigma that I’m not sure will ever go away.

We do pretty well financially for the Bay Area, but now after having leased this car, when people find out I have one all of a sudden “dinner is on me”. All of a sudden, we shouldn’t be complaining about the cost of our kid’s school, the cost of living out here, etc because “well, you have a Tesla, you can’t be hurting that bad.”

So I’m curious, is this something most of you deal with and how do you get past it. I try not to care too much what others think, but I also really dislike the feeling of being judged for the car I drive...

I see the profile photo of you beside your Model S. That is an absolutely BEAUTIFUL car and the color is gorgeous! Without a doubt, others judge us on what we have over who we are. We've all experienced it at one time or another, even if it's not related to owning a Tesla. If others perceive you have too much, then you're rich, snooty and better than everyone else. If you drive a junker, then you're considered lazy and a total loser. You will not win if you put all of your stock into what others think. As you drive your awesome new Tesla Model S, savor every moment of it. Remember what it took to get it and all that must be done to keep it. As hard as it may be, try to leave the opinions and negative attitudes of those who are jealous in the dust. There are many more people who won't say, but their hidden aspirations are actually where you are today. The 100D is awesome! CONGRATULATIONS on your accomplishments!

 

[Darmie]

A co worker's new Toyota Rav has sustained flood damage. She travels far work and back. I've attached a very rouge look at ownership of an X in her example. This does consider free charging. Point being made is after life of loan savings, it's cheaper than owning another new Rav4
I say, bring on the judges.



I did not register in LA since my home of record is in TX so I did not gain the additional $8,000 tax credit. My goal was to use my trade, and a small down payment and federal tax to get a payment similar to an F-150 truck payment. I'm right there in the ball park on our S.
I always feel judged but I get that often when I keep a box of soups and lunches under my desk and not go out for lunch every day.

 

[Bebop]

Jaulousy... Those are friends you say?

I agree with this sentiment. What is interesting about this car is that I feel it really uncovers...people’s...subconscious/intentions? I don’t know how to explain it.

Obviously if I get jealous sentiment from someone regarding them seeing or finding out I own this car then I avoid befriending them or doing any kind of business with them. Those are people to avoid in general anyways.

The ones who were super excited for me or didn’t show any of that negative sentiment always usually turn out to be amazing people in general and in doing any kind of work/business with.

 

[S4WRXTTCS]

I haven't received anything negative, but that's likely because I don't have kids. I also make sure to point out that I have the SLOW version, and not the really expensive version.

But, even if I did have the expensive version I could probably still mask it by using the excuse that I don't have kids.

I could get a Ferrari and no one would say anything. At least no one with kids.

 

[Sawyer8888]

There are some very well-written responses here already. So to reiterate, @Lhshockey24, congratulations on your 100D!

It's hard to ignore other people's opinions. I have friends and acquaintances. Those who's motives I have to regulary question usually end up in the ladder category - and sometimes lower than that.

Scenarios like this remind me of the time way back in the third grade when a friend referred to my family as rich because we had purchased a second car. That was a used Dodge Dynasty. That confused me at the time. But that was then.

My advice: if the relationships are meaningful, let them know how you feel. Otherwise, distance yourself.

I also make sure to point out that I have the SLOW version, and not the really expensive version.

Funny, I respond the same way in some cases. For others, I let them believe what they want. To the untrained eye, it's a P150DD.

 

[David29]

I love my Model S 100D. Let me start out by saying that right away. Something however that I’ve dealt with is feeling and being judged negatively by friends and family for owning (leasing actually) such an expensive car. Even when I explain the fact that monthly costs after gas savings really aren’t much higher than my BMW X3, this car has a certain stigma that I’m not sure will ever go away.

We do pretty well financially for the Bay Area, but now after having leased this car, when people find out I have one all of a sudden “dinner is on me”. All of a sudden, we shouldn’t be complaining about the cost of our kid’s school, the cost of living out here, etc because “well, you have a Tesla, you can’t be hurting that bad.”

So I’m curious, is this something most of you deal with and how do you get past it. I try not to care too much what others think, but I also really dislike the feeling of being judged for the car I drive...

I can remember hearing somewhat similar comments and having similar reactions when I had Mercedes, especially in the early years. I have rarely if ever heard them since having a Tesla. Well, maybe somebody has made joking comments. But I am older now, so perhaps either I developed thicker skin or maybe my circle of friends and relatives got more mature.

 

[jlund]

I hear you. It’s a status symbol. No way around it. We live in a small, young, hippie town and I don’t think others are jealous as much as thinking, wow, you really indulged yourselves. Friends and family too. Particularly when those X doors open.

At the start we were a bit self conscious, my wife even confessed parking down the street to meet a hiking group she joined.

After a while, we stopped caring. A couple of our friends are recently preordered a model 3 and my parents just ordered an S so the new alien luxury thing is starting to be normal in our circle.

Our car before was a Ford Escape because we really didn’t see any difference between that and a high end BMW. So spending a lot on a depreciating asset initially felt weird but the car is just too incredible to ignore.

 

[jelloslug]