i forget if you have another thumb drive you can test but if you do, and it also can not format, you should schedule a service call.
The very first line in my OP says: "I am in the middle of a support issue with Tesla." And you call me obtuse. Funny really. ;-)
That is why I asked if other people use USB Devices other than the ones recommended by Tesla and are able to format them in the car so I could forward that information to their engineers. Unfortunately they don't seem too interested to deal with this.