Spacep0d
Active Member
He is not a bad person and neither is she. The action of bantering back and forth as described is muddy behavior. I get his reaction and it's fustrating. I've had my car keyed and believe this impatience and condescending attitude doesn't help to mitigate the hate. Nevertheless she is his Aunt and someone who helps manage his business place on a daily basis. Wasn't there a better way to handle her criticism? Isn't this matter between them, why does he allow his coworkers to continue this facet of bullying as bystanders. She "deserves" this because she is a Tesla hater? That is the fundamental principal on bullying. When one side goes low, the other thinks it’s a green light to go lower. It’s a continued discord.Two ripoffs don't make the situation right. Justified retribution, does that dismiss the poor behavior?
Nothing about this is bullying from the part of the OP or the crowd which made Auntie upset, and how quickly we have forgotten than Auntie's passive-aggressive bullying is what kicked everything off. Auntie dished it out and couldn't take light ridicule. Ridicule is one of many corrective reactions from social primate in-groups. If the upset party were male, would you be so concerned about so-called bullying? Probably not. In male in-groups, this is a Tuesday.
Also, nobody talked about anyone 'deserving' anything. We're observing what happened per the OP's recounting of the story and weighing-in on what happened. Ridicule is one of many non-violent corrective measures in social groups, because it works to varying degrees. This shouldn't be the first reaction, but it's part of the human experience. Is that not why people ridicule certain political figures who propose asinine legislation? Is that not why we ridicule bad ideas or 'dumb' questions?
Light ridicule goes by many names, and one of the reasons why it's funny is because it's the release of tension. It's best in these situations to just own the mistake and let it go, which is how I think Auntie could have handled this better. Then, stop the harassment of the OP. Beating 'bullies' at their own game does work, and humans have been doing it for millions of years.
There is such a thing as being 'too soft'—it's not just rainbows and unicorns all the way down. The soft approach with a bully is called 'being a victim'. There is a time to be kind, but that's after the bully has learned his/her lesson. There's a balance here. I believe we should err toward kindness where we can, but bullies of any kind (even passive-aggressive Aunties) will get their just deserts.
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