Help/Opinion on wedding speech

[HankLloydRight]

So looks like I'm on the hook for a speech at our wedding coming up soon. I'm not much for public speaking, so I wanted to make it short and have some fun with it (I'm kind of a prankster). So I'm going to post what I have so far. Once you read it, see the following post for discussion and what I'm looking for. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. "Julie" is my fiance's name.

Here it is:

Spoiler: Click for speech

Some people think that 'love at first sight' is a myth, but I know it's true.

Even before we met (which is a story in itself), I could feel the magnetism between us.

And then when we actually did meet for the first time, there was definitely something electric in the air.

And as time went on and we got to know one another better, there were a few negatives, but really, mostly all positives.

We quickly learned that we both really like driving (and maybe a little too fast sometimes, ok.. A LOT!). We also definitely like taking road trips. We drove down to North Carolina for Rebecca's Bat Mitzvah last year. Had a great time. The year before that, we got really charged up to go to Chicago for the big Family Reunion. We had so much fun on that trip -- right, Julie? We've gone up to Vermont to visit Fred and Tina for a relaxing New England weekend. We both really needed to recharge our batteries in the cool fall air up there (thanks, Fred!).

But, as you can imagine, there were also a few bumps in the road along the way. I really won't get into those, but all I'll say is that sometimes we can really drive each other crazy.

And after all this time, we really do have this solid connection, which is why we're all here today.

But enough of this talk about my Tesla... I'm really here to talk about Julie.

(and then a few words about Julie I haven't come up with yet).

 

[HankLloydRight]

]Here's the follow up post. Don't read this until you've read the speech above.



Ok, so now that you've read it, you know what I'm going for. I hope you found it funny.

Is it too much? Was it too obvious? Just right?

I posted on another forum, and the feedback I got there was to remove all the electricity/car references, so the punch line is a total surprise. I feel like having them in has better punch at the punch line, because people will recognize the somewhat odd references, but not really put 2+2 together until I get to the punchline.

I feel that if I remove them altogether, a lot of the joke is lost. So now I'm not sure which is better.

Here's the alternative version:

Spoiler: Click for alternative version

Some people think that 'love at first sight' is a myth, but I know it's true.

Even before we met (which is a story in itself), I could feel the magnetism between us.

And then when we actually did meet for the first time, there was definitely something in the air.

And as time went on and we got to know one another better, we learned to appreciate each other.

We quickly learned that we both really like driving (and maybe a little too fast sometimes, ok.. A LOT!). We also definitely like taking road trips. We drove down to North Carolina for Rebecca's Bat Mitzvah last year. Had a great time. The year before that, we went to Chicago for the Family Reunion. We had so much fun on that trip. We've gone up to Vermont to visit Fred and Tina for a relaxing New England weekend.

But, as you can imagine, there were also a few bumps along the way, but I won't get into those.

And after all this time, we really do have this solid connection, which is why we're all here today.

But enough of this talk about my Tesla... I'm really here to talk about Julie.

But I'm open to any feedback (positive or negative), suggestions, additions, enhancements, etc.

thanks.

 

[ModelX]

I like the first one

 

[woof]

First one. And congrats! Is this speech before or after the ceremony....hopefully after or she might not go through with it...

 

[2krazykats]

Congrats, Hank (and the lucky "Julie")!

If people know how much you love your Tesla, they'll probably catch on right away (as I did) that you're talking about the Tesla. But, if the majority of people there don't know about it, then chances are, it'll catch them off-guard. I liked the first one even though I knew what the punch line was (you did post to a Tesla forum ). Use the 2nd speech if you think people will catch on too quickly.

I think if you also said something about loving Julie more than the Tesla, that would probably mean a *great* deal to her (only if it's true -- don't start off a marriage with a lie!).

 

[HankLloydRight]

I think if you also said something about loving Julie more than the Tesla, that would probably mean a *great* deal to her (only if it's true -- don't start off a marriage with a lie!).

Yes, thank you!! That's how I'll end the speech! Great suggestion.

I think a few people will catch on early, but that's ok, I think the punchline will still work.

 

[AudubonB]

You are going to be in Big Trouble Big Time.

Other than that, it's pretty good. And funny.

Of course, it's all your friends here who will be having the last laugh. And at you, not with you.

Also, by the way: about

...a few negatives, but really, mostly all positives

Alas, they do, absolutely, axiomatically, have to be absolutely equal.

But you knew that already.

Congrats & Good Luck! We're rooting for ya, buddy!

 

[HankLloydRight]

I'm also trying to work in the word "flux" but without it being to obvious.

 

[ohmman]

I saw it coming, but only because it was posted here. In person and out of this context, I doubt I'd be expecting it. It's great (first one).

"so charged/amped up" might be a giveaway but is a potentially useful phrase.

I'd leave references to the snake charger out.

 

[thimel]

Congrats, Hank (and the lucky "Julie")!

If people know how much you love your Tesla, they'll probably catch on right away (as I did) that you're talking about the Tesla. But, if the majority of people there don't know about it, then chances are, it'll catch them off-guard. I liked the first one even though I knew what the punch line was (you did post to a Tesla forum ). Use the 2nd speech if you think people will catch on too quickly.

I think if you also said something about loving Julie more than the Tesla, that would probably mean a *great* deal to her (only if it's true -- don't start off a marriage with a lie!).

+1

 

[Max*]

Was it too obvious?

A little, but I kind of guessed where you were going since we're well... on Tesla Motors Club

 

[tander]

Hope you enjoy the drive.

 

[HankLloydRight]

I ended up going with the first version and it killed the room. I actually changed it up a bit from the version above.

I may post a video when I get them.

 

[ThisIsTrue]

I'm late to the party, but I was going to suggest the original too. And I'm a professional humorist (that means I'm a writer, not a stage guy or actor), so that's a professional opinion!

And yes, you should post the video.

 

[HankLloydRight]

Thanks for your input!!

I'm pretty self-concious about the video.. it didn't come out all that great (we had professional photographers, no videographers!). But maybe I'll post it someday.

 

[ThisIsTrue]

I'm pretty self-concious about the video.

Ask a couple of good friends what they think. If they say it's good, believe them -- we're all too critical of how we look and act when we're the center of attention. And if they say it's embarrassing, believe them and burn all the copies!

 

[muleferg]

Congratulation. I survived 38 years Dec, 2. The 2 word's for this is.................................


Yes Dear

 

[HankLloydRight]

Yup, that's what she says to me everyday.