Lies? You want to talk about Tesla lies?? Let's see...
...
... I could be here all day.
Oh come on, now! It's not THAT bad! I went through and responded to your list.
Let's See...
On board music storage - Yup! It's called a USB stick you keep in the glove compartment.
Lighted vanity mirrors - Lit by the interior "overheads."
Being told on the day of delivery your car didn't come with next-gen seats, only to be asked to wait 6 months to get them - not even a lie. They told you it didn't come with them when you went to pick up the car.
AP2-to-AP1 parity by end of December (rotfl) - But WHICH December? There's always another one coming...
P85D 691 HP fraud - They say the MOTOR's capable of that. It's everything else that isn't.
0-60 times in Norway fraud (owners sued and settled w/ Tesla for over $7,000 each) - Yeah, ok.
Elon saying owners can upgrade to larger batteries - really? - Of course you can. It may come with a whole new vehicle attached, but unless you have a 100, you CAN upgrade.
Every loaner will be a Model S better than yours (stated multiple times by Musk, as recently as a few weeks ago) - This depends on the criteria used to conclude "better." Maybe Tesla's criteria aren't the same as ours.
Encouraging people to "floor it" while at the same time throttling performance for those who floored it too much - This one's a grey area.
Quarterly "new UI" promises that never materialize - So every quarter they promise a new UI. Since time has not yet come to an end, there could be one - someday.
So there you have it. A few "missed deadlines" and such, but only the Norway thing can really be said to be a lie, right?