How Can I Politely Decline Speaking To Strangers About My Car?

[dmurphy]

I appreciate the second comment. The point of the post was to see if anyone else experienced people crossing very clear boundaries because of the Tesla hype. I wasn’t expecting so many people to zero in on my gender only.

Honestly, I haven’t found any boundary issues, but people genuinely interested and even excited to ask about it. I thoroughly enjoy those conversations, unless I’m in a hurry, in which case I just tell them that.

I confess to having been on the other sude, too. Right before ordering my Model 3, I saw a couple and their small child loading groceries into theirs at the Wegmans supermarket. I approached them and just said “I have to ask - how do you like your Model 3? I’m considering one and was just curious how it’s working out for you.” They gushed about it - the wife even more than the husband - and seemed more than happy to answer my questions. I hope I wasn’t too intrusive, but their answers really did help convince me it’d work for our needs.

It’s a curiosity item, no question about it. Unfortunately, questions from the Unenlightened come with the territory.

If people are blocking you in, that’s really uncool. Maybe a “Happy to answer your questions, if you could please just pull up over there” would work?

 

[21miDay]

"I'm uncomfortable talking to strangers. Here's some printed material.'

 

[srredbeard]

I have never turned down an opportunity to talk about either of my Teslas but I am a middle aged guy and have never had anyone box me in so I was not able to leave. I also can't image doing that to anyone. Like others have said the newness will eventually fade and the general public will be more knowledgeable about the car.

In the mean time your best course of action may be to pretend you are on the phone, especially when you feel trapped and unable to leave.

 

[qdeathstar]

get yourself a few tasteful bumper stickers.

A “piss on coexist” and a “i shoot first ask questions later” topped off with a Trump 2020 bumper sticker. It’s probably not polite but i think all off the annoying questions will be replaced with confused glares.

Go for it.

As an alternate, you could offer to introduce them to your savior Jesus Christ....


A lot of people ask me how i can afford a 100k car... i guess a look like a hobo. I respond that you can get a tesla for under 40k....

 

[TJtv]

Man. Just imagine what it was like for model x owners a few years ago. The attention was constant. I personally didn’t mind, but when my wife was driving the car with a bunch of kids in it, that’s the last thing she wanted to deal with.

 

[RScottyL]

I’m a young female Tesla owner and I am constantly stopped in public to talk about anything Tesla related. At first it was fine, but it has greatly escalated. People have blocked in a parking spot/charging spot with their cars and approaching my window, where I would have no way to exit the situation. I respect that the new technology is exciting, but I don’t feel as if it’s fair to put me in uncomfortable/unsafe situations just to make a couple comments. How can I politely turn down these interactions?

LOL, just do whatever you normally do in the club to prevent guys from approaching you!

 

[Leafdriver333]

I wish I got extra attention from female onlookers.. sheesh.
No one approaches me to ask about the car. Male, female, or LGBTQ.

 

[Big Dog]

Funny, I’ve never had it happen once but Model 3’s in Orange County are a dime a dozen.

My biggest problem is figuring out how to shop at my local Costco without having to talk to the DirectTV salesperson who always wants to know who my cable provider is every time I try to do a grocery run.

That one's easy: 'I'm a big sport fan, have pac 12 network yet?'

 

[MXWing]

t. I approached them and just said “I have to ask - how do you like your Model 3? I’m considering one and was just curious how it’s working out for you.” They gushed about it - the wife even more than the husband - and seemed more than happy to answer my questions.

Well I’m certain you are not coming off as a creep. There’s a fine nuance on when comfortable becomes uncomfortable and I know you know it. Most people do like and appreciate attention and flattery!

 

[MexiCanuck]

Yes, I like that reply...… up to the point where he says "I'm just kidding. Give me your purse before I shoot you"

I think a simple, “This is not a good time for me to talk with you about that.” is both true and polite.

 

[cruiserlarry]

I think you bought the wrong car if you don't have any interest in engaging with folks who are interested in the future of individual transportation, and are seeking feedback from someone who has experience with it....I, for one, have spent hours discussing the pros and cons of EVs and Teslas in particular, and have been responsible for converting several friends, family members, and random acquaintances into becoming Tesla owners.

 

[samcvan]

Sorry this is not my car - I borrowed it from my dad - my car got totaled last week

 

[alexGS]

I’ve found this thread really interesting

The other day, I showed an interest in a gentleman’s Porsche (an ageing model - the car not the guy!) and we chatted for some time; turned out he’d only recently acquired it and loved having the respect and ‘reinforcement’ of his decision.

Definitely if I had the chance, I’d chat to the owner of a Tesla - and I’d expect to do the same if approached. But I can see that sometimes this behaviour is uncalled for. And of course I would never go out of my way to follow the person or block them in, etc.

I’ve had the experience of driving a bright-green Lamborghini which attracted a lot of attention - especially from younger guys - so I guess I’ve enjoyed all the attention and only seek to repay it, really.

I think the advice given in this thread is good - just smile and say it’s your boyfriend/husband/partner’s car, or you “can’t stop to chat right now, sorry!” - you should always have an easy way out, and the person doing the approaching should always be able to understand this.

-Alex

 

[jjrandorin]

I appreciate the second comment. The point of the post was to see if anyone else experienced people crossing very clear boundaries because of the Tesla hype. I wasn’t expecting so many people to zero in on my gender only.

Unfortunately, your gender IS relevant to this discussion. There could be multiple reasons why someone is approaching you in this situation. at least some of them are related to your gender (and maybe your age).

There could be people who are genuinely curious. There could be people who are taking the chance to approach a young (and possibly to them attractive) female, and think using the car as an excuse is a great way to try to start a conversation.

Part of it is your location, as there may be fewer teslas there.

None of that makes it correct, and you absolutely should not have to feel threatened. "ignoring" people in public spaces used to be a lot harder than it is now. Just check out the crowd in general at a public place in an elevator. Most dont want to talk to others in an elevator, so everyone tries very hard to ignore everyone else. People used to just look up, down away, etc for the uncomfortable minute or so of their elevator ride. Now, almost everyone puts their face in their phone.

The easiest, politest, non threatening way I see is to be looking at your phone (which you likely are doing anyway if you are just sitting) and pretend to ignore the first question. If they repeat it you can look up and give a short answer to whatever, (a couple of words) and then say some variation of, " sorry I have something important here I am dealing with, have a great day".

Some variation of "have a nice day" is a conversation ender and totally tells them you are not really open for more conversation.

if you are putting things in your car, you can again give a short answer and say "im sorry I am actually in a hurry to go somewhere, have a nice day".

Anyway, good luck, I suspect there is a combination of, in your area tesla being rare, and you being young, and female, and attractive that is driving some of this. Doesnt make it right though.

 

[larmor]

Tell them you miss the smell of the gas station and gasoline...

 

[smartypnz]

Elon gave us the solution..... Fart App - turn up the volume!!!

 

[muleferg]

Elon gave us the solution..... Fart App - turn up the volume!!!

He Haw ..........You would have got a referral

 

[silentcorp]

If people come up to me to talk and I don't want to I simply use verbal communication to say "I'm busy" it's really that simple. Or use body language as others have said here. You bought a cool car, folks are gonna want to talk about it.

 

[CarterStC]

I’m a young female Tesla owner and I am constantly stopped in public to talk about anything Tesla related. At first it was fine, but it has greatly escalated. People have blocked in a parking spot/charging spot with their cars and approaching my window, where I would have no way to exit the situation. I respect that the new technology is exciting, but I don’t feel as if it’s fair to put me in uncomfortable/unsafe situations just to make a couple comments. How can I politely turn down these interactions?

Yeah, in Davis, CA last year (when the car was pretty new tech), I had a guy stop in the middle of the road, blocking traffic and me in my parking spot and started asking questions. I pointed out the line of cars behind him and he moved on.

 

[Uncle Paul]

Kristin

It just may be that guys will use the Tesla topic to begin a conversation with you. Kind of like a pick up line.

Annoying as that may be, guys are often eager to chat up a young lady, perhaps hoping that it might lead somewhere.

I understand your safety and perhaps annoyance concerns, but guys act like guy sometimes.

Lots of good ideas on this post. Got to get the idea across that you have no desire to enter into a conversation and be left alone.