Two comments: for iOS be sure to have Tesla notifications set to Persistant. I’ve found this helps to see them if a car update appears in the night or when you are away from your phone.
Also for iOS, it’s weird but checking for updates in the App Store isn’t merely going and looking. Be sure to drag down the app list a couple of times (really) so it freshly checks for new updates. I often get new updates that weren’t there on opening the App Store or on the first check.
And one more (so, three). In the Tesla app, anytime you logout and in, check all the notification settings there. They tend to be reset to the default.