My first thought was similar to mosts, it's silly I can't set my own speed. However, after reading this thread, there are some valid points as to why you wouldn't want a lawsuit on your hand and I concede. I'm wondering if a giant "Valet" button on the touch screen wouldn't be a decent work around, ensuring people have to hit that button before driving and agree that they can't go above a certain limit. Probably asking too much at this point, but I'll share my own valet experience to help substantiate the fears out there... I use to valet cars for 6 years... if you'd let me reminisce...
I know EXACTLY what valets do. Let's assume the 80/20 rule, where the 80 were the good guys (myself included). Given most nights you are hustling so fast you don't have time to rest, you do get some enjoyment out of the nice car for the few seconds/minutes you're behind the wheel. And there are always times where you take liberties or it's slow. When we did take liberties, here's what we did:
- Always take a super nice car around the block an extra lap or two if the restaurant is slow; especially if you don't like the other valet guys you are working with, make them work more
- We could park them super fast if busy, most people would crap their pants if they saw how fast we could park in a garage or parallel, with near reckless abandonment
- Often a car gets bumped (aka kissed) by other people's cars because we are parking on streets, and it's not our fault or we don't notice
- Often a valet will look around the car and look for any new damage and do the best to be honest, but it's easy to just act like it was there already
- Most valet's love nice cars and will take care of them because you have no idea how many sh!tty volvo's we've parked that smelled like cat piss and full of dog hair, nice cars are still the rarity in most places and a perk to the job
- Most valets are treated like second class citizens by the restaurant and get left out in cold and rain and never fed, even late in the night
Now for the not so nice
- when there was a blemish (especially if it was our fault), we'd always pull up the car just right, so the owner had walk around the opposite side of the car, and not notice the new paint that was added to their bumper until they got home or the next day (call it plausible deniability)
- On slow nights we would take the nicest car (and the most recent arrival) to go grab food or pizza because restaurants wouldn't feed us all night
- We'd leave the keys in the car and the cars unlocked on busy nights in front of the restaurant. Typically parking cars end to end and taking the last car's key with us. Then going back and parking cars after the rush dies down
- If you make us stay really late, don't expect us to be that nice to your car... or just leave it with the restaurant staff who have no affiliation with the valet company at your own risk
- Any fast car will have it's acceleration and braking tested like a red headed step child... I promise. Even in a very small garage, even if you ask us to be gentle... but how can you not when you make 10 bucks an hour and have a once in a life time experience
- There's a direct correlation between how we treat your car, and how big of a jerk you are to us
That being said, assume the guy is good, and always believe if you tip well, they will take care of your car. 5's are nice, 20's are a guarantee (except for the uber rich places). Never tip a buck, even if there's a valet charge at the restaurant. Most times, if the valet charge is 5 bucks... the poor valet is only taking home $1 for each five they collect (unless you get creative, but that's for another time if you're interested) and working only for tips.