Buy used. That's your best bet IMHO. Lots of folks are upgrading to P85D from their barely-used P85s or 85s with the configuration you like at a very good discounted price. And since you are still getting a rebate from the govt, you're all set! Good luck!
Thanks for all the responses guys, I really appreciate it!
8.5k rebate is only on a new vehicle, or a "used" with under 2,000 km from Tesla. Going with a used with higher mileage I get less warranty and lose the rebate. Plus, the build quality keeps getting better and better, so I have more confidence buying new. Used pricing in Canada is not what it is in the states. Lately, I have seen 1.5 year old loaded S85s with 40,000-60,000kms, for the same price that I can buy a bare bones new S85. Given this choice, I'll take bare bones new.
I didn't really consider the jump seats, as once the kids are too big for them its not useful anymore, the kids can just sit in the backseat which frees up my trunk, and I have heard it gets hot/cold in the jump seats....PLUS, there are so many other options I would rather have.
Pano roof...its true you don't really notice it while driving, I find this on my sunroof now. But, you gain headroom which in the rear seats is needed, its only $2,000 if I'm comparing to non-pano silver, and it looks amazing with white which is my favorite colour. I can't see getting white without it.
I don't think I can, in good conscience, get tech and not get the 85. Pretty much decided on standard white with pano, so my choices would be bare bones 60 (with supercharging) and save almost 15k, 85 no tech and save 5k, or 85 with tech. (savings with taxes included)
Winter pkg...pre heating the car makes it seem unnecessary to me, I would only want it with heated wheel, and price might go up once wheel is included. I think heated front seats come standard (I don't like anyway), as they are not listed under tech pkg, only REAR heated seats are listed. I have heard wiper defrosters don't so much. So, paying for this pkg when heated wheel is all I want, but will rarely need due to pre-heating, seems silly to me, especially when I could put that towards options I want more.
Very undecided on leather vs textile...all the textile people say its great and lasts better than the leather, but spills are a concern with kids, and I like my current leather seats. Leaning towards textile.
My other overall thought is I could get the bare bones 60 now, and then get the larger battery model 3 later (hopefully in a CUV form), for us to use for longer trips, making the 60 perfectly fine for the S. My kids are young/not even here yet, so we aren't going to be taking any huge road trips any time soon...like maybe 5 years before trying a big trip down to Florida. As I only take a handful of out of town trips a year now, I can take the ICE if charging won't work out. On the other hand, it seems kind of crazy to spend 80k on car that I can't easily take for a day trip to Toronto (250km away) if its a cold winter day. I've probably repeated my thoughts a lot from my first post here, sorry, this stuff gets my brain running in circles.