Let me give you some more practical examples:
1.) Out of warranty MCU breaks. Tesla wants $2900 to fix it AND they get to keep my old one, else its 5K to fix it.
2.) Navigation not enabled on a pre 2013, but is standard on every car since 2013. Tesla wants 2500 to enable.
3.) 2012 40kwh wants more battery (60 kwh pack limited to 40), Tesla says "10k please", despite only having sold ~400 and openly admitting it was a mistake.
4.) Owner wants spotify in the USA
5.) Owner bought a salvage, and needs access to do the repairs
6.) Owner wants to do some diagnosis after the car starts acting funny but is out of warranty and doesn't want to pay Tesla to read their own screen to them.
7.) Any self-done retrofits such as next-gen seats, upgraded IC (to a higher rez post 2014), add foglights to a non tech package car, etc
Some of these are my personal reasons, some of them are others, some I made up in the 3 minutes it took me to write this post.
No one with "root"/"jailbreak" is doing dumb *sugar* like disabling airbags or whatever else you all are dreaming up in this thread. Remember not everyone owner has a "100k car" and adding a 10k option to a 30k car is more motivating than your previous example.
How many owners of RS8s, Ferrari's and Lamborghini take their car to a $15 Jiffy Lube to change their oil? They generally operate like a Honda Civic. Part of the cost of ownership is paying more for that 'Ultimate Care' or 'Audi Care' where you pay a multiple more of what a service 'should cost'. They do to it for the piece of mind because their car was so expensive.
It is a CON of owning a Tesla but it comes with the territory - Tesla owns your car more than you own your car. You are more dependent on Tesla for your service needs than any other car manufacturer. Do I like it? NO. Do I see the reality? YES
I covered my general logic of why you can't mess with Tesla but to cover your 3 minute examples..
1.) I don't understand enough about MCUs to see if you can actually get it fixed outside of Tesla.
2.) Is worth being black listed by Tesla once they discover you stole $2500 worth of software from them?
3.) Assuming Tesla just doesn't shut your vehicle down completely, is it worth making your car persona non grata to them?
4.) Not worth the risk to my 70k car. I'll deal with the limitation.
5.) A Tesla is literally the last car on earth you'd want to get a salvage on. Its less than 'a car' but a software package wrapped around with a motor, battery and wheels.
6.) If you can do a read only operation that involves zero 'rooting' or modification of your Tesla, go right ahead. Car still gets over the air updates out of warranty so your car is still in the Tesla family. Not worth messing with a car, even one that is out of warranty, when it is a Tesla to be kicked out of the tribe.
7.) Things like changing incandescent bulbs to LEDS are in the realm of possibility. What has been proposed like turning on software features that you didn't pay for is worlds apart on the sensibility scale.
No one turns off airbags on purpose, but you never know what happens with unsanctioned code. Examples I am thinking of are more like
a.) - Tesla discovers on 11/10/2016 that the autopilot doesn't detect certain big rigs because they are so high up. The consequence is without an update, your car will try to drive under it. You downloaded the hack that was released in October.
If you think you can 'hack' your car and still receive all the updates, and go undetected by Tesla, I question how you were able to get yourself into a Tesla to begin with.
Being intelligent. Being wise. Being smart with money. Being ethical (especially with Donuts) NONE of those are qualifiers to own a Tesla. It's pretty clear a lot of people here are missing those things.