You can't reject updates that impact safety when there are other people on the road who didn't agree to the same thing.
Also, it might make more sense for people to be made more aware of the fact that by buying a Tesla things change, features improve over time and if that's not acceptable to you perhaps another car would work better.
While I think that it's cool that things change and get better over time, what happens when they get worse? I would not have an issue if every update just added features, or fixed bugs without modifying or removing existing features, but that isn't what seems to be happening. I don't see it as being unrealistic to have the ability to treat a Tesla as basically any other car, it does the things it does when you purchase it, the same way, for the life of the car. (and, probably 400,000 of the 500,000 model 3 reservation holders will expect exactly that!) *Again, personally, I like that it works how it does, at least until something I really like goes away
, but I can see where others might not, and I respect that.
However, if someone chooses to "lock" their car's features to one version, then I also don't see that Tesla should have to figure out how to implement bug fixes for every prior version of the software that exists. It would be great if they can, but I think if you do choose to lock your car down to one version, you cant expect Tesla to be keeping up on safety patches while not keeping up with feature updates.
Which brings me to your second point, "you cant reject updates that impact safety when there are other people on the road who did't agree to the same thing". While I can see things that may have to be forced to cars if they impacts the overall public safety, Overall, As long as the car meets the safety requirements of when it is built, I don't see that owners should HAVE to accept additional ones if they believe that the trade-off is worth it. Nothing else that I can think of works that way.
Yes, I can also see times when a feature might have to be disabled due to safety concerns... even if the owners wanted it, but that is different from features just disappearing, or significantly changing.
I can also make a case for a real safety concern with the UI changing... some people don't like change. So, say you are used to the media center looking like "X", and it suddenly changes and now as someone is driving they are hunting around for the button to change something, not realizing that it has moved or changed. and they get in an accident. No, I don't see that as Tesla's fault, but I do think they should have the ability to not have to worry about those things.
Like you said, at this point, people should expect that from Tesla, but that doesn't mean it is RIGHT, and as they sell more cars, expecting that kind of thinking from the majority of people isn't realistic (sadly).