You can trench 400A service but there’s no need to take 400A into the house.
I agree completely that 100A would not be sufficient for both the house and ADU, especially if either is fully electric (no gas). Here’s how I would sequence your construction, assuming you wanted to get this done ASAP:
- upgrade house load center to 200A. Replace its main breaker with a 100A one since your current service is only rated for 100A. Run a sub panel to the ADU.
- install the solar and power wall and tell them to design and install it for 200A service. Make sure that when they do the install, they wire it for 200A service.
- whenever you finally get the new service trenched over, make sure the line from the meter to the house load center is rated for 200A. Put back the original 200A breaker into the load center.