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Model Y 7 seater or 5 seater dilemma

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We are a family of 4 - 2 pre-teen/teen kids. We are planning on getting 2 vehicles - a model Y and another high mpg gas hybrid crossover this year or early 2021. We haven't yet decided if the Model Y should be the 7 seater or if the gas hybrid should be the 7 seater. Model X is out of our budget. We will utilize the 3rd row mainly for occasional kids carpooling and driving around visiting friends and family

So our choices are
A. Model Y 5 seater and Toyota highlander hybrid (HH)
B. Model Y 5 seater and Lexus RX HL (7 seater)
C. Model Y 7 seater and Lexus RX (5 seater)

The following inputs will help
1. How will the 3rd row space of model Y 7 seater, compare to Toyota HH and Lexus RX 7 seater?

2. Will the 2nd row space in Model Y change for 7 seater versus 5 seater?

3. We have ordered model Y 5 seater (Nov 2019). If I change configuration to 7 seats.. will my date in reservation queue change to current date. Understand 7 seaters will come later, but wanted to know if my position in the 7 seater queue be pushed as if I am ordering it on the current date?
 
The third row in the model Y is absolutely tiny. You will have much more space in either of the other two cars. I would vote for option A or B.
20200118_tesla_model_y_1.jpg
Model-Y-Fremont_3a.jpg
 
The rear seats on the X are kinda tight, especially in the 7 seat version (not having the center seat opens the rear seats up a lot, and gives a lot of leg room.)

The Y is more than a foot shorter than the X. I'm really not sure why they are offering third row seats on the Y - I'll be surprised if any adult can fit back there at all, and it'll likely be tight for kids.
 
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My wife and I were just having a very similar discussion today! We’re a family of 5 (3 daughters all under the age of 10). We have a Honda Odyssey that still has some life in it for maybe the next few years so we decided today we’ll probably just go with the 5-seater Y (just the standard range when it’s released). I think the little bit of extra storage space without those 2 seats will actually be more valuable for our fam situation.
 
Holding out for a 3 row option here as well. Family of 4 with 2 kids under the age of 6. When grand parents visit they get the second row and kids kicked to 3rd. They are still shorter than the car ;)

Majority of the time the 3rd row will be folded down but it a be nice to have overflow when needed. I wouldnt count on the 3rd row for daily use though.

I'm getting 3rd row for exactly the same reason
 
We have a similar situation, our other car is a seven seater and our Y is a five seater. We decided to go this route after test driving many seven seat vehicles. Some (many) of them have rear seats that can only accommodate small kids. Some (Volvo!) don't even have latch devices in the far seats, so you can only put baby seats in the middle. (really odd choice). Our seven seater is a Mazda CX-9, which is much much longer and wider than the MY. The rear seats are ok for a 6' adult for a few hours drive. That's with at least one adult in the middle seats. It works very well for that purpose. We did drive the highlander (too small a third row for us), but didn't drive the Lexus (our neighbor has one...). Personally, I think the Y is too small for a functional 3rd row. Even if it's just for small kids, they would need to be big enough to be out of a car seat, but small enough to have tiny little legs. I have not seen one in person though, so time will tell.
 
We just ordered the 7 seater Y dual motor. We have three children 7,5,2 and one coming in March. I suspect the rear being usable for my two youngest for at least 10-12 years assuming I keep the car that long. I’m 6’2” 240 and sat back there. It was tight but I could manage for an hour or so. Main problem was head hitting glass. Leg room with second row forward wasn’t too bad. I also wonder why they didn’t switch the middle row to face backwards? Much more space one would think for second and third row. I plan on putting my oldest two in back and put two youngest in middle for ease of putting kids in car seats. Kids loved it when we checked out the demo. As for your other choices. Gasoline powered cars are going to be relics. Legacy cars. Ev all the way.
 
I was in the same boat as you before. I tested drive both models last December and I look at the model Y with that slope back windshield and I was wondering how can it be comfortable with that third row seat back there, especially for adult/teen size people. I ended up buying the 2020 Highlander hybrid because more leg and head room in the third row. Now I am about to order the MY 5 seater.
 
I have to admit, there appears to be more room back there than I thought. I can’t say that I would buy one, but it does not appear to be the total waste of space that I really thought it would be. :D
I just got to sit in the Model Y at the Springfield NJ showroom today. My opinion, and I'm 6'1, is that the third row doesn't work unless the adults are small. In my normal driving position, I could only fit comfortably behind myself with the second row all the way back, which means zero 3rd row legroom. It would work for me driving, and the second and third row with small kids, but that's not our situation. I'm not sure how these youtubers make it seem more spacious but definitely a no go for us.
 
Of your options, the best option is A. The Y does not have anywhere near as useful a third row. That said the highlander isn't a great 3 row crossover either. You would be better off pairing the 5 seat Y with a Volvo XC90 Recharge (or a Hyundai Palisade if you want to save some cash).
 
Of your options, the best option is A. The Y does not have anywhere near as useful a third row. That said the highlander isn't a great 3 row crossover either. You would be better off pairing the 5 seat Y with a Volvo XC90 Recharge (or a Hyundai Palisade if you want to save some cash).
Palisade for the win. The XC90 has tiny 3rd row seats as well, doesn't look like it from the outside, but try to fit a full size human in that 3rd row and you will be shocked how little room there is. The palisade is just cavernous on the inside. If you need space, that is the one to get.
 
Of your options, the best option is A. The Y does not have anywhere near as useful a third row. That said the highlander isn't a great 3 row crossover either. You would be better off pairing the 5 seat Y with a Volvo XC90 Recharge (or a Hyundai Palisade if you want to save some cash).
Palisade for the win. The XC90 has tiny 3rd row seats as well, doesn't look like it from the outside, but try to fit a full size human in that 3rd row and you will be shocked how little room there is. The palisade is just cavernous on the inside. If you need space, that is the one to get.

Agreed re: the Hyundai Palisade (or the Kia Telluride). When we found out we were expecting a third child, we looked at three-row SUV's to replace my Toyota Prius, and to go with my wife's MDX. We looked at the Toyota Highlander, Honda Pilot, Volvo XC90, and Subaru Ascent (wife was, and is, resistant to the idea of a minivan).

In our opinion, the Hyundai and Kia were the only ones that had a third row that was usable for average sized adults, and which still had some usable trunk space. My wife and I (she's 5'6" and I'm about 5'10") sat in the third row and were surprised that it actually did not feel claustrophobic back there, and we were pleasantly surprised that there was still some usable trunk space back there.

In the Highlander, MDX and XC90, the third row just felt tight and claustrophobic, and we felt like use of the third row basically eliminated all trunk space, which was a non-starter for us.

We ended up not getting the Palisade or Telluride because of the insane dealer markups, and also because my wife convinced me we didn't need two seven-seater vehicles.