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My Model S has ruined cars for me.

kmtl

Member
May 31, 2015
120
79
Cincinnati, OH
As much as I love my Tesla, this is a silly argument. The buttons are less of a distraction than the touchscreen.

I can find the button by muscle memory, and while Tesla put all the necessary "buttons" on the touch screen for simple muscle memory usage, volume on the steering wheel, etc. if I need to, for example, turn on the heated steering wheel while driving, I need to hit controls (sure, can be done with muscle memory), then scroll to cold weather, then hit the steering wheel icon, and that icon is small, so there's no way you're doing it by muscle memory. Whereas on an ICE, it's a button somewhere that you just need to feel around for.
Totally agree. The tiny 'button' the pops up to open the garage door, for example, makes me angry several times a day. Why can't I configure this to be as big as I want it? That would be two inches high X the width of the screen, btw. And let me decide how long it stays up as well. (It gets cold here and I use the in-car opener to open and close the garage in the winter).
Sorry for the thread-jacking/rant.
 

SabrToothSqrl

Active Member
Dec 5, 2014
3,880
3,306
PA
Sorry if it got a bit long. My point is that gasoline fueled cars... no longer hold my attention. With the 2016 Auto shows coming soon, there isn't a damn thing I feel like spending any time looking at.

Edge Sport? Blah.
G-Wagon? Love it, but burning gas is so 2000 and late.
Lambo? Used to be my dream car since I could spell it. And I had to practice spelling it. Now... P90DL is not only my dream car. Someday, if I rub my pennies together, I may just own one that can blow most Lambo's away, while hauling 3 of my friends + whomever I cram in the frunk.
New Suburban? Spiffy, but why?

Tesla has some new rumor?! Best to just clear my schedule for the day.

If anyone wants to guess at the make/model of my rental, I will entertain yes/no questions. :)
I'm not attempting to debate the button vs. touch screen issue, just that the Model S has destroyed my interest in anything that runs on gasoline.

Gas is great, don't get me wrong, we need it to store a lot of power in a small space. But for moving cars around... it's not what you'd call ideal, and everything from a Geo Metro to a La Ferrari suffers from the same issue of the engine.
 
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Araman0

Member
Apr 18, 2018
323
518
Seattle
Apologies for resurrecting an old thread. But this was just too entertaining to let die.

In attempting to add bit of constructive input, since this thread started you can now rent electric cars through sites like Turo when your beloved is in the shop. I rented an ice on our last vacation. It was so painful that I swore to myself “no more”. I’ll even rent a Leaf or a Ford Focus EV off Turo any day over dealing with the “convenience” of the traditional rental counter.
 

David.85D

Active Member
Oct 29, 2016
1,545
1,304
USA
en your beloved is in the shop. I rented an ice on our last vacation. It was so painful that I swore to myself “no more”.

Amen!

Suffering with a vacation rental “luxury SUV” that makes me want to hurl every time I get in it. The door says “2019”, but the technology says “1999”. It’s an Infiniti QX80 with a massive engine. Accelerates like ? A scoop of ice cream melting in the sun on a slightly inclined sidewalk? Words fail me. And the nav!? A horror of anti-human design not seen since the last windshield mounted Garmin I sold to a member of the Flintstone family.
 
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Hugh Mannity

Mediocre Member
Jul 31, 2014
1,349
831
Calgary, AB
Apologies for resurrecting an old thread. But this was just too entertaining to let die.

In attempting to add bit of constructive input, since this thread started you can now rent electric cars through sites like Turo when your beloved is in the shop. I rented an ice on our last vacation. It was so painful that I swore to myself “no more”. I’ll even rent a Leaf or a Ford Focus EV off Turo any day over dealing with the “convenience” of the traditional rental counter.

agree; I have a Model 3 reserved on Turo for my family's Toronto trip in a couple weeks ;)
 
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NoirMS

Member
Oct 21, 2018
199
142
Orlando
So, here's the problem. I am, or was, a gear head. My Model S… has ruined all other cars, and possibly myself. If it was mechanical or technical, I had to tear it down, inspect it, and understand every nut, wire, carburetor, pump, display and more. This story will be long enough without a back story, so I’ll keep it short. I’m a Tesla Model S owner. For the past nine months I’ve been enjoying my incredibly quick, quiet, safe, intergalactic space boat of light and wonder. Until one day when a mean old Ford Escape merged in a gap that would only fit an even older, and even meaner, Geo Metro. I thought I loved my car. I thought it was the most amazing thing since the iPhone, with sliced bread being invented long before I was born. Then my world was torn apart by the damage to my S. A bumper. I think. Maybe some other parts, don’t know, don’t particularly care. The point is I have been without my space boat for almost two weeks and like a heroin addict looking for that quick fix, I’ve been slowly rotting away inside. My soul has been crushed. Defeated if you will by the horrendous act of operating a gasoline fueled automobile. I won’t go into specifics of the make and model of this antique transportation device, as it’s not its fault it’s broken. For too long the mass production of automobiles has been ‘good enough’, or in Land Rover engineering “that’ll do”. But, again, that’s another story.
This story is the ruination of all automobiles. Upon attempting to enter this auto I had to push a button. Even though the key fob was in my pocket. I was aggravated, but understood, having operating something similar in the before time. Henceforth known as BT. Before Tesla. Once granted access to this horseless carriage I again was befuddled at the steps I’d long forgotten. “Starting” the car. Vague memories of annoying easily broken parts such as starters, alternators, and spark plugs came flooding back. I had to DO something. The car was waiting for ME to do something. I didn’t get in this car to paint my house. I didn’t get in this car to take a walk. I got in it, to go somewhere. Apparently this was news to the car. So, I had to push a button labeled START. What a terrifying experience. Lights, buzzers, noises, vibrations. I thought something had exploded somewhere. No, luckily it was just roughly 1,000 moving parts all slowing beginning to move in random directions, waiting for the most inopportune time to fail. I quietly as possible, as not to disturb the noises the car was making, adjusted the mirrors and attempted to get under way.
Within two miles I needed something to drown out the random noises of a slowly wearing out mechanical device. The radio I thought! But this was ‘radio’ radio. Not commercial free on demand digitally delivered music, but instead something my grandparents must have listened to. There was a knob involved. Apparently “FM” deciphered, means “knob that adjusts between static and commercials with static”. This however was no ordinary knob. This knob was located in an area with roughly 46 other buttons. I’d count them, but seriously, gave up around 40. There was even a “number pad” on the car. What’s a number? Who calls a number” I press “wife” and magically I’m connected to a woman who claims to be able to put up with me. I don’t know what numbers these are, but they look useless to me.

Thankfully! I found a screen. A nice big screen in the car that will surely help me out. I touched the part that said NAV. Nothing. I touched again. Nothing. I thought to myself, wow, this must be one of those ‘lookin’ screens I’d heard about. Before the whole touch thing was invented…even though this car was a 2015, it must have come off the assembly line before the whole iPhone craze. Back to the knobs. And buttons. So many freaking buttons. Even non Tesla Owners quickly became befuddled at the buttons. Launching a nuclear missile would most likely take fewer buttons. My wife (the woman who endures me), attempted to adjust the cabin temperature. Something someone may do in a car. But alas. It was no use. The car… was in reverse. Somehow the entire 6” screen was now taken up by a blurry, compressed (aspect) image of what was roughly behind the vehicle. No feedback was given to the operator of the temperature control knob. Things may have been changing, may not have been, we will never know, as the car… was in reverse. Reverse must take all the priority! Interestingly, the audio level did decline when the car was in reverse. Something I didn’t mind. I give them credit for that one thing, of the thousand I don’t understand.
We have music (Sirius preview channel)! Now… where to? I know! GPS will save us. Entering an address became an exercise in futility. You input your address with a knob or wheel scrolling the 26 characters and 10 numbers that make up this thing called English. Entering a City such as Pittsburg takes roughly the same amount of time as driving there from Harrisburg. Fortunately for me, the screen makes a perfect spot to hold your iPhone. Setup with WAZE, I was back on my way!
Tesla has ruined acceleration. This car says sporty. It says soccer mom fun. It’s not. It accelerates like my riding mower. John Deere FTW. You press the pedal, and for the first 2-3” nothing happens. Then suddenly, without warning, noises occur. These noises, followed by what feels like being rear-ended, result in the car lurching forward. Each ‘shift’ results in the car feeling like something is wrong. It does this shifting up and down. Even when barely touching the pedal. Speaking of pedal. There’s another one that’s required quite often. The one that slows you down. This is because the car likes to coast after you remove your foot from the go pedal. This is a terrifying proposition. You feel like something is wrong or you are no longer in control. To regain control you move to the wider pedal. You press it. Nothing. You press harder. Nothing. Finally, after well over a foot of travel, the vehicle slows. Amazing we have the power to slow a vehicle in 2015. Truly we are living in an incredible time.
The car comes with several safety features designed to annoy the hell out of you, but not actually do anything. The car has a system that can detect when you are about to hit something. It’s been ingeniously tied to the barely functioning brake system. One would think this system would allow the car to avoid crashing into things, saving both itself and the occupants, but no. Apparently that would have been too easy, instead, if you are going to hit something, the car makes random noises, with no visual indication as to if it needs an oil change, or if you should have prepared your will. The car will, attempt to do things to slow you down, like opening the sunroof, but crashing is totally going to happen anyway, so just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ambulance ride.
I need more lights: Ok, so we have the car ‘on’, radio going, iPhone on GPS duty, and haven’t yet crashed into anything. Several lighted lines vaguely indicate what I think is the remaining go power. Talk about Range Anxiety, I’m going to be on the side of the road dead in 5 lights. I don’t know what 5 lights means, but according to some people, I can stop at a gas station and get some more lights.
I arrive at what looks like a post-apocalyptic waste land. It smells awful, like burning. I step out of the car and my foot lands in a cross between a milkshake and vomit. I realize the smoke belcher is still ‘on’. I reach back in to press ‘stop’. I am prompted for money and my zip code. Money?! Seriously?! I grab the handle on a germ covered oil soaked metal nozzle. I spend the next 10 minutes moving an explosive, flammable, cancer causing liquid. Not being HAZMAT certified a few drops spill. Luckily it doesn’t faze anyone. $46?! They should be paying me to move this liquid. I think, the smell. The smell of a gas station is what you notice most after not being at one for nine months. People get food here. Not good food, but something called food.
I have more lights!
Bottom Line: I want my Model S back, and will further appreciate it and love it every day.
the hazmat part was great!:D
 

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