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My Wife Doesn't Like Driving my Tesla -

lencap

Member
May 27, 2013
155
522
Raleigh, NC
Greetings!

Maybe this isn't an issue for many people/families, but my wife truly dislikes driving my M3 RWD. She drives a 2011 BMW 335d (diesel engine - lots of torque), and it has been her car since new, now with almost 75K miles. I encourage her to drive my car as often as she wants, suggesting that eventually it may be a good idea to replace her car with another EV. "Not me!" is her response.

She finds the Tesla "like driving an iPad", and she hates it. Doesn't care about crash ratings, all the unique features, etc. Just flat out refuses to drive the M3 unless she has to. I'm kind of surprised, but if she likes her car so be it.

What concerns me a bit is that she hasn't driven it much since we bought it nearly 11 months ago, and almost all of the miles on the M3 are from my driving. We take it with us on trips, and I truly enjoy driving it. Since she doesn't have lots of experience with the car, almost none with autopilot, she really doesn't know how to drive it optimally, or how to use all the features. I'm modestly concerned that if something happened to me, she may not be able to drive it (she also doesn't use the phone app - just the "credit card"). Se've discussed this, and she reluctantly drives it when I prod her, but only for short distances and she really doesn't look comfortable when she drives it.

Anyone else have a significant other that isn't an EV fan?
 

srs5694

Active Member
Jan 15, 2019
1,237
1,509
Woonsocket, RI
Two thoughts:
  • Don't push her. Doing so will most likely backfire.
  • It sounds like she dislikes the Tesla Model 3 specifically ("like driving an iPad"). When the time comes to replace her car, she might be more receptive to an EV with more conventional controls. As that time approaches, you might suggest going to a National Drive Electric event so she can try some non-Tesla EVs back-to-back.
 

jboy210

Supporting Member
Supporting Member
Dec 2, 2016
5,462
3,467
Northern California
My wife has a 2011 335, gas-turbo, and also does not like driving the X. She is pretty honest and says it is too big. She has no problem driving her 335 very aggressively. But she hates the blind spots in the X.
 

Takumi

Member
Aug 25, 2006
713
347
IL
What did she drive before the 335d? Has she driven any other car besides her 335d? What phone does she have?
 

Enginerd

Member
Jun 24, 2017
386
993
Savannah, GA
My wife is the same. I don't think it's specific to the Tesla though. She tends to dislike change in general. Is mid-40's too young to be "crotchety"? To be fair, driving a Tesla is a pretty big change. And she's intimidated by Autopilot. While AP is not perfect, I understand its limitations and feel comfortable using it for its strengths. But for her, it's foreign, and if it lets her down once, she'd probably never trust it again, and then she attributes that emotion to the car as a whole.

Some people create the future. Some embrace it when it comes. And some get dragged into it, kicking and screaming.
 
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SilverGS

Active Member
Nov 3, 2016
1,653
972
Ontario
My wife is the same. I don't think it's specific to the Tesla though. She tends to dislike change in general. Is mid-40's too young to be "crotchety"? To be fair, driving a Tesla is a pretty big change. And she's intimidated by Autopilot. While AP is not perfect, I understand its limitations and feel comfortable using it for its strengths. But for her, it's foreign, and if it lets her down once, she'd probably never trust it again, and then she attributes that emotion to the car as a whole.
I'm just curious as to why AP is even a question here. Obviously the car can be driven without using AP ever, so why is that a concern to begin with? What am I missing here?
 

Enginerd

Member
Jun 24, 2017
386
993
Savannah, GA
I'm just curious as to why AP is even a question here. Obviously the car can be driven without using AP ever, so why is that a concern to begin with? What am I missing here?
It's not rational, but I think some people are just scared of things they don't understand. Throw in a couple things they don't understand, add a couple things they don't like, then the whole car ends up in the no-thanks bucket. See: luddite.
 

Oldschool496

Member
Sep 27, 2017
707
415
Florida
It's not rational,
My wife also no way, she says this car is a thinking persons car. It is, she's right, thats certainly why I love it. Examples:

Just pulling into park, "have I been here before, is the suspension raised(even though I have been here before), lets check it, nope not raised". Now thats one of the most easy ones that can be a hassle. Don't raise it, you wished you had. Lower it after parking you wished you stayed home.

Grab the wrong stalk(in a model S or X) to make a turn and suddenly this same newbie could be asking themselves "what is going on and why is my car suddenly accelerating at a high rate of speed".

Blind spot galore on Model S or X and I guess also sounds like model 3. SO its these things that make these cars a bit scary for others. Most love them, others not so much.

Math skills tested a bit on trips also, again I love the challenge others, "I just want to drive fast and get there fast always". SO do I, I just do it another way and arrive not depleted.
 

Puddles

Member
Jun 2, 2017
730
930
Fresno, CA
The thing that sold my wife on ours was driving in traffic. "So easy!" she said. Considering her car is a 6-speed Mustang GT (which I borrow whenever I can talk her into it) it would be like night and day.

Maybe send your wife out into some horrible rush hour traffic and see if that helps? :D
 

Need

Active Member
Nov 22, 2017
2,989
2,305
Rancho Cucamonga
Interesting. My wife had 2 different BMW X5s before Model X. She said that whenever she see an X5 on the road now, she felt sorry for them that they are not driving a Tesla. She wouldn't use autopilot though... until just last month (1.5 years later). Once she used it, she can't stop using it. She is turning it on when it is only 1/4 mile to the exit. She doesn't really like my Model 3 though. It is too small, no air suspension, with only 1 display, and driving door does not open for her LOL.
 
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jboy210

Supporting Member
Supporting Member
Dec 2, 2016
5,462
3,467
Northern California
Interesting. My wife had 2 different BMW X5s before Model X. She said that whenever she see an X5 on the road now, she felt sorry for them that they are not driving a Tesla. She wouldn't use autopilot though... until just last month (1.5 years later). Once she used it, she can't stop using it. She is turning it on when it is only 1/4 mile to the exit. She doesn't really like my Model 3 though. It is too small, no air suspension, with only 1 display, and driving door does not open for her LOL.

I have to say after owning a X for a couple of years I agree with her about the 3. I have only driven them a few times, but I like the size and displays much better on the X. Maybe they will add a HUD to the 3/Y.
 

aTri

Member
May 27, 2019
18
25
Storrs CT
Why are only men answering this question? I'm being slightly critical, but I suspect that you're wife doesn't appreciate the technology in the car at all. Probably took a long time to use a smartphone too. I've allowed my husband and two of my grandchildren to drive my 3, but only because they appreciate it. Keep your wife away from it!
 
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Akikiki

A'-Lo-HA ! y'all
Nov 26, 2012
6,510
4,867
Kaneohe, HI
Most women have better things to do than hang out on the internet and discuss cars with total strangers.
Yeah, far more productive things - like gluing on false eyelashes, sitting under a hair dryer, waiting on toenail polish to dry, trying on a dozen pairs of shoes to fine one pair. But whose keepin' track.


:rolleyes: before anyone gets angry, just having a little fun. now go ahead.
 

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