Need opinions - tell me I’m right

[Wattsisname]

Or... "she fine, dump her off at the curb"

And now it begins; ask a silly question.........

 

[Manbutter]

Thanks for all your opinions. I honestly think it’s be great to have a referee and a replay camera in my house and car.

Barring that, no one wins when spouses fight.

 

[Manbutter]

7?

7, my old 23 year old Suburban!

 

[father_of_6]

Barring that, no one wins when spouses fight.

True dat!

 

[Wattsisname]

7, my old 23 year old Suburban!

Such an impressive looking vehicle particularly in convoy (movies).

I was a passenger in a car service one during a visit to the USA.

What marketing genius gave them such a dull name? Some reverse phycology going on there.

 

[Wattsisname]

Such an impressive looking vehicle particularly in convoy (movies).

I was a passenger in a car service one during a visit to the USA.

What marketing genius gave them such a literally dull name? Some reverse phycology going on there.

Or even psychology

 

[daniel]

An argument with the wife today. Need opinions on who is right/wrong.


We had a very good friend and his family come visit us in LA this weekend. Friday, we were all set to go to Disneyland and on the way out the door, he got a phone call: his mom died. He had to fly immediately to NY, get his passport and then fly next day overseas. His wife and 3 kids stayed in LA and decided not to disappoint the children and we all went to Disney. 9:30pm. Everyone exhausted. Time to go home. Here is the argument:

My wife wanted me to make them take an Uber to their hotel in Beverly Hills. I argued that I couldn’t dump them off on their own to find the Uber lot when all their kids were exhausted. I would drive them. My wife says I’m “selfish” for not considering her feelings. She said she and my kid were exhausted and wanted to go home. The added stop to BH took an extra 50 min. Now I’m in the doghouse for doing what I thought was the right thing.

What do you all think?

You did the right thing. Your "very good friend" 's family were under stress, and you were their hosts. Your wife was being selfish in not wanting to help them out (other than with money). Good people help each other out!

That said, the best thing you can do now is apologize to your wife, tell her she was right, and plead that you, too, were tired; too tired to think straight.

 

[EVer Hopeful]

Next time marry a bloke

 

[jkdman123]

As has been pointed out by sages over the millennia, if the wife ain‘t happy, nobody’s happy. Still true today, as witnessed by the OP in his first post.

While that's true, it's laughable that the wife is calling HIM selfish. He's not doing it for himself. He's doing for his friends. SHE'S the one being selfish. OP, you are 110% in the right, however, this fact will not help you in any way.

I would have not even given it a second thought to drive them. Luckily for me, I think my wife would be on board.

 

[Wattsisname]

I should know better by now; SWMBO said this one would run and run and I laughed at both her prediction and the story.

 

[Tam]

...selfish. He's not doing it for himself. He's doing for his friends. SHE'S the one being selfish. OP, you are 110% in the right, however, this fact will not help you in any way...

If the wife went along with the husband, then we wouldn't have this thread.

Since the wife did not, some would think that she is selfish.

Just because someone wants to do good deeds or charities doesn't mean that person is released from the contractual obligation.

I've seen young people volunteer do charities abroad, skip paying income taxes, and fail to register with Selective Service and when they got caught by the government they say the government is selfish.

If the wife is fine with a husband who would give flowers to friends but not to her, giving diamond rings to friends but not to her, and letting friends rest nicely in a hotel while the wife is still 50 minutes in the car ride, then we wouldn't have this thread.

The selfish part here is from those who claim charities in order to get out of a contractual obligation.

 

[father_of_6]

The wife and the husband are one unit. They should do for others as they want others to do for them.

 

[daniel]

If the wife went along with the husband, then we wouldn't have this thread.

Since the wife did not, some would think that she is selfish.

Just because someone wants to do good deeds or charities doesn't mean that person is released from the contractual obligation.

I've seen young people volunteer do charities abroad, skip paying income taxes, and fail to register with Selective Service and when they got caught by the government they say the government is selfish.

If the wife is fine with a husband who would give flowers to friends but not to her, giving diamond rings to friends but not to her, and letting friends rest nicely in a hotel while the wife is still 50 minutes in the car ride, then we wouldn't have this thread.

The selfish part here is from those who claim charities in order to get out of a contractual obligation.

I find it difficult to believe that you've seen young people call the government "selfish" for charging them with failing to register for the draft. I am of the age when there was a draft, and when many, including myself, opposed it, and I heard many arguments against it, and had many arguments of my own against it. I called the government many negative things (and still do) and heard my peers call it many things, but "selfish" was never one of them.

"Selfish" means putting one's interests above those of others. Selfless means putting the interests of others first. In the situation described in the OP, the poster's wife was being selfish because she put her own interests (wanting a shorter trip home) above the interests of her guests.

 

[EVer Hopeful]

If the wife is fine with a husband who would give flowers to friends but not to her, giving diamond rings to friends but not to her, and letting friends rest nicely in a hotel while the wife is still 50 minutes in the car ride, then we wouldn't have this thread.

that's just a teensy bit different from what's being discussed here . . .

 

[jkdman123]

If the wife went along with the husband, then we wouldn't have this thread.

Since the wife did not, some would think that she is selfish.

Just because someone wants to do good deeds or charities doesn't mean that person is released from the contractual obligation.

I've seen young people volunteer do charities abroad, skip paying income taxes, and fail to register with Selective Service and when they got caught by the government they say the government is selfish.

If the wife is fine with a husband who would give flowers to friends but not to her, giving diamond rings to friends but not to her, and letting friends rest nicely in a hotel while the wife is still 50 minutes in the car ride, then we wouldn't have this thread.

The selfish part here is from those who claim charities in order to get out of a contractual obligation.

I have no idea what you're going on about. The wife and the husband are BOTH hosts for their friends. As such, in my opinion, they both should be gracious. It wasn't like they had to drive 4 hours out of their way to accommodate their guests. It was 25 mins each way.

I'm sorry, if you're THAT wiped out after an amusement park that you just cannot stand an extra 50 mins *sitting* in a car, you either have severe physical issues or you're just completely self-centered. I dunno, I think it's normal to put yourself out a bit guests. The extra time was completely reasonable.

 

[jjrandorin]

(moderator note)

After reading the last page of this thread, my instincts tell me it is right at the point where it is about to go "off the rails" completely, and veer into a bunch of discussion that is off topic, and not relevant.

There has been feedback to the OP on their question, and this site is not one dedicated to relationship advice so I am locking this thread before it goes completely off the rails.