Hopefully your installer can get Tesla to fix this. Fingers crossed.
My also was installed by a third party, Semper Solaris, but I got the the grid charging option anyway. I have seen other oddities in my original setup, so installers must have several opportunities to make configuration errors...
I believe Tesla has a separate support group and phone number for installers, and it makes sense for that group to have access to whatever configuration bit needs flipping.
Interestingly, my app does not show the "permission to export" option, suggesting that the presence of these options is controlled by configuration options on Tesla's servers. My notifications problem early on was of this sort too.
If your installer can't get Tesla to set it correctly, I would suggest you try Energy Support again and explain that.
In case someone is confused, PG&E explicitly says grid charging is OK here:
link
Also the NEM tariff states in Special Condition 11, c, 2:
Tesla, as they often do, is making this harder for you than it needs to be. Hang in there.
SW