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New Tesla designs spotted

It looks like Elon took a break from Twitter, came back to check on Tesla, and wasn't too happy they released a round wheel for the S/X...so apparently he's doubling down with some new designs...


While the yoke did a better job than a traditional wheel of not obscuring the dashboard (which was a huge problem until the yoke came along), it wasn't perfect--it could still obstruct the visuals while it's being rotated in turns. Enter the new Tesla Nub steering control! It will never obscure any of your controls again. And don't worry about accidentally honking the horn while using the Nub, since the horn button is now in the glove compartment, along with the turn signal, wiper, and light controls. Another giant leap forward with user interface design, by Tesla.


Tesla continues the tradition of its yoke by the imminent release of its new Brok wheels. Much like the yoke lets you see through it better by removing unnecessary wheel area and gets rid of the ugly-looking stalks, the Brok wheels remove spokes so you can see the brake discs better and removes the ugly-looking brakes. Additionally, instead of brake pedals, you now operation brakes by pressing a capacitance button on the face of the wheel (just like the horn, wiper, and turn signal capacitance buttons on the yoke).


In another giant leap in genius driver-oriented user interface design, upcoming Teslas will remove the screens from view completely and put them in the glove compartment. Not only that, but the last physical driving controls (pedals, steering, etc.) have now joined all the other car controls on this screen.

While these controls might cause some concern for those who might refuse to step out of the past and accept the future, the fact that full self-driving is expected to be ready by mid-April (roughly two weeks away) means that these controls won't be needed for long. Until then, there's even an "Open Glove Compartment" button that's been added to the interface that will help you open the glove compartment whenever you need to turn, stop, or go.
When will I be able to get these new designs?
How can I defer taking delivery until these can be put into production?
Can I retrofit my older Tesla with these new features?
Will Tesla retrofit all the older cars with these new updates for free?
Will these new features cause the value of all the used Teslas to CRASH!

I spoke to my delivery specialist early this morning. He claimed he knew nothing about these new upgrades and could not assure me that they will all be installed when I am scheduled to take delivery tomorrow.

When will Tesla stop innovating, so I can be sure my own car will always be the latest and greatest?

I spoke to my attorney about all this and I could swear I heard laughter in the background :(
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