Nostradamus Tesla Semi: Mind-blow-a-thon 2017

[buttershrimp]

Make your best prediction for exactly how our minds will be blown by the Tesla Semi...

Rules: Use your best creepy Nostradomus voice for full effect....

e.g.
Behold... Thy 18-horseless lightning cart shall allow for transport in subterranean tunnels which may be on display in Hawthorne, in the year of 2017...

 

[malcolm]

Mike? MIKE Nostradamus?

if ever there was a name made for ESPN.......

 

[gavine]

Elon had mentioned before that, in a tug-of-war with a diesel semi, the Tesla semi would pull the other semi uphill. I personally hope they demonstrate this. Think of how much smoke will be coming out of the diesel's smoke stacks (and tires) while it's fighting to pull-back on the Tesla.

 

[azred]

The only mind blower is the timing. Why not wait until the Model 3 line is fully operational before trying to make a splash on another new vehicle.

 

[unbelievable]

The only mind blower is the timing. Why not wait until the Model 3 line is fully operational before trying to make a splash on another new vehicle.

Maybe there’s some good news on that front. Someone posted a spy video the other day of the model 3 production line plodding along nicely.

 

[LMichel]

The great Mage from the west shall call upon brothers Alchemy, Earthly Force and Sun to conjure his new carriage, led not by beasts but by unseen powers of a manufactured mind. With it, will carry 6 of 3's, among and beyond the armies of stallions harnessed by refinement of oils and smoke. Both believer and neigh shall take their watch in the land of pristine hedges, slab and glass.

 

[jelloslug]

The only mind blower is the timing. Why not wait until the Model 3 line is fully operational before trying to make a splash on another new vehicle.

Because both products have been in the pipeline for some time now. You don't stop working on one thing when another has an issue that the first group cannot help with.

 

[_jmk]

Mytesla just stopped giving ordered car specs this morning, so I'd have to go with a guess that they will announce 200kW charging for S, X ja 3 along with the 500kW Superchargers that can charge the semi or multiple cars. This also implies that the 85kWh 400V battery experiment we saw earlier was a test run of a battery that can actually accept the 200kW rate. I hope

 

[electracity]

Make your best prediction for exactly how our minds will be blown by the Tesla Semi...

Claimed cost per mile:
1) Aggressively priced truck.
2) Platooning.

Of course platooning won't be even near beta. But why would that matter?

 

[_jmk]

As for the semi, I would guess it supports battery swapping giving it unlimited range. In one of the videos someone took earlier you could even see a hump that looked like a battery module that can be just lifted away and replaced.

 

[Cosmacelf]

Next level bonus referral prize: Free trip to Mars (one way).

 

[Krugerrand]

I haveth no idea. Just passeth thy poppycorn so I may dieth a contented mind expansioned homosapien. Oh, and buyeth thy damnedeth dipsy-doodle. All hail the Norwegians!

 

[azred]

Because both products have been in the pipeline for some time now. You don't stop working on one thing when another has an issue that the first group cannot help with.

I didn’t say they should stop working on anything, but I think it’s stupid to try to make a big splash about a new truck when the car that is supposed to be the cash cow is languishing. When we took the tour recently, the guide asked what we each owned and then said we’d be happy to know that the tour would be about our cars with only a brief glimpse of the 3 that we probably wouldn’t care much about anyway. Funny stuff.


So let’s have a dog and pony show about the semi. Rah rah rah and lots of Elon smiles. But I’ll bet they won’t take any questions about that mysterious car that attendees probably wouldn’t care much about anyway. While Musk and Trump may not agree on much they both have a developer mentality. What interests both of them is the next project, not the stuff they dreamed up last year. Maybe Musk needs Thursday’s dog and pony show to get him out of his own Model 3 funk but I hope he’s then flying back to Nevada to solve what needs his attention.

 

[croman]

I believe Elon keeps tweeting sunsets and campfires from GF. He knows the 3 needs all hands on deck. The Semi is a distraction but it could also help Tesla maintain a cash flow on new orders (these trucks aren't cheap!) while they still work out the 3 kinks. Most truck orders will be like 3 orders (they will come, but it will take a lot of time). They can probably get 25% down from commercial purchasers unlike individual consumers. So they'll get enough cash to pay for parts and take their time delivering while the 3 mass production is finalized. It doesn't have to be a total distraction and the 3 still takes precedence but it allows Tesla to roll out products in series rather than in fits and starts.

 

[Cosmacelf]

Where the heck are they going to build the semi? They need a new factory...

 

[comanchepilot]

Where the heck are they going to build the semi? They need a new factory...

they'll just cut the S/X back to one shift. . .

 

[comanchepilot]

e.g.
Behold... Thy 18-horseless lightning cart shall allow for transport in subterranean tunnels which may be on display in Hawthorne, in the year of 2017...
View attachment 260298

'things-I-just-made-up'

 

[Rockster]

Where the heck are they going to build the semi? They need a new factory...

I've been wondering if part of the announcement was going to be that Tesla is partnering with an existing truck manufacturer to build the chassis and Tesla will build the drive train. Other than improved materials and aerodynamics, there's nothing particularly groundbreaking about a truck chassis. Imagine Tesla announcing that Peterbuilt is already making trucks that will be fitted with Tesla batteries and motors. No new Tesla factory required.

 

[GonzaloAR]

My guess is that they are going to announce plans for a new manufacturing facility. Not the location itself but that they will add another facility. Hopefully its in Fresno

 

[lunitiks]

Garbage threads like this... I love them. And I hate them. I've even created a couple myself lately. @buttershrimp you got my attention, then you immediately lost it. Thank you, and screw you, very much. Please keep it up, and please stop immediately. What's this feeling of mine called? What's my diagnosis? Am I in, or am I sane? Luni or tiks?

Pour your judgement over my head, I shall take it. And I will not