From what i got (9/18 order, 9/28 delivery) - if you took delivery on or before 9/30 then you should get the 2-year free SC, which should show up in your Tesla account details by now. The referral credit (1K or 2K) should show up in the loot box by now. The referral credit expires in 6 months (so says the Tesla sales guy).
Oddly, it appears the last few weeks, we've had free supercharging. No pricing shows up against superchargers on the car nav map, and when we supercharge, there's no ticking off of dollars charged, and no charge ever shows up on our credit card.
Not sure if this some sort of compensation for never receiving our referral miles, or how long this will last, but I'm not complaining...
Contact whoever referred you, and have them check their app. Long before you take delivery, the referral will show the order was placed. When you take delivery it will change from ordered to delivered. If the referral person doesn't see it, then you won't be getting it.
Also I have 5 referrals and all of them were credited within 1 day of delivery.