Since PG&E currently does offer 'true' net metering, and you are still seeing utility power usage on your bill, that says you are using more power than you are generating. If you see Net Energy Metering statistics on your bill, you have NEM and you are getting full credit for all the power you generate (for now, at least: lots of political wrangling going on to change that). If you have PG&E NEM, the only time you get 'screwed' is if you end up having generated more power than you used in a 12 month period: that is clearly NOT what is going on in your case. So your 'battle' with your wife is for nothing.
I agree your bill seems high with 46 panels. You likely have some 'low-hanging fruit' to reduce your bill. You should find someone to analyze and measure your usage and provide a breakdown of your costs. I too had very high bills at one of our rentals. I bought a little device called a Kill-A-Watt to measure power usage at each of our 120V devices (old refrigerators and freezers are huge energy hogs). And once I made sure none of the 120V devices were sucking excess power (ending up getting rid of an old freezer: the new freezer paid for itself in 14 months!), I went through all my 240V equipment on my electrical panel, turning them off one at a time, reading the change in power usage at my utility meter. I found that our well pump was staying on 24 hours a day due to a stuck pressure switch: my electric bill went down by $100 the next month. Given your bill, odds are high that you have some 240V device that is your main culprit IMHO (pool, a pump, water heater, AC, heat,..)
You might also want to investigate Time Of Use Billing if you are currently on PG&E's Tired Rate Plan. In that case, you WOULD have reduced rates at most hours (except 4-9PM) (and you could restart a new battle with your wife!). This takes some careful analysis to determine if TOU billing is better for your particular case, With Tiered Pricing, you are roughly paying 39 cents per kWh at PG&E, whereas with TOU pricing, you pay anywhere from 28 cents to 49 cents per kWh depending on your location, time of year. and time of day. So changing to TOU pricing requires thoughtful analysis to know if it will help.