In an effort to remain complaint with HOA regulations I dragged myself to Lowes to get plants. Plants aren't very exciting, but I don't want to get fined so I do the bare minimum to stay under the radar. Do they know how much more exciting it is to spend a holiday riding an Electric Longboard, or biking for miles on end with an electric assist Mountain Bike? Do they know a whole world exist outside the ticky tack houses that all look the same? They being whoever is behind this governing body. I would know who if I paid any attention to it. I just know who to send the money to so I don't get fined. This weekend was supposed to be the supercharger weekend, but apparently Tesla had better things to do with my car then deliver it to me. I looked longly at my HPWC as I put my shoes on and said to it "Maybe in another couple weeks my new buddy, just maybe" Lowe's was the competitive battle ground I've always known it to be. Some weird place aliens must visit to observe humans in their natural habitat. Kids running around, couples yelling at their kids to slow down. Everyone jockeying for position and trying not to get run over. There is an electricity to this place, but it's on a different frequency than me. It's for some parallel me that lived life differently. I just needed a plunger, and some plants. Any plant would do, but the plunger had to be just right. It's not every day you need a plunger. Apparently either I'm eating more food, or my digestive system is different but I had never needed a plunger before. Eat more Fiber? Eat Less Cheese? Nah.. don't be silly. Buy a better toilet. Yes, a MAN SIZED toilet!! For man sized ummm…. But, then I saw a glimmer of light. It's couldn't be could it? Nah, they don't sell those at Lowe's. They couldn't possibly. But, yes there it was. No, not the Red Ryder beebee gun. But, a Smart Toilet with Bidet. Adjustable Water Temperature Adjustable Water Pressure Warm Air Dryer Heated Seat Yes, TAKE MY MONEY. Oh, wait.. Ugh. it's expensive. $1267!!! I pause for a few minutes as my brain works out an excuse to bridge the gap between my unconscious decision of getting it with the conscious part of my brain that needs some kind of justifiable excuse. In .02 seconds my brain came up with it. Since Tesla was so late in delivery why not spend what would have been the first months payment on this ridiculous toilet? Sounds good to me. See you later toilet paper. Good riddance. So I think I came out a little more green than I was when I walked in, and it wasn't the plants. The plants were red, yellow and orange.