"Driver should be in control of the vehicle at all times" 100% does cut the mustard I'm afraid. You have to be switched on, at all times, especially with autopilot engaged. But it's a different kind of switched on. You need to learn to "manage" your drives, rather than "driving" them, much like an airline pilot manages a flight. Psychologically, that is what Tesla *should* be promoting. Not full automation. That is years away for point to point FSD.
I tend to look at the Autopilot (and generally all driver assist features) in the Tesla the same way I treat an autopilot in an airplane. It's an extremely powerful assist function that takes a lot of the tedium out of long haul flying / driving. But it has its limits. And you have to know those limits in order to keep yourself, your pax, and your machine healthy.
In an airplane, every takeoff is flown manually, there simply are no autopilots that handle takeoffs today. Not because it couldn't be done, but because it's the single most critical phase of flight, and the delay between taking manual control and already being in manual control is too long when having to abort a takeoff. The earliest any airline will allow you to switch on the autopilot is passing 400ft above ground after takeoff. But many pilots will choose to fly manually until clear of terminal areas - at least the vertical/lateral AP modes don't usually come on until about 10 minutes or so after takeoff. Why? Because there's often a lot of traffic in terminal areas, and quick reaction time is often needed to avoid jerking your machine around, and you want to keep it smooth for all involved. When I drive my Tesla, I do the same thing. I drive manually until I'm on a major road, then AP+AS is taking over, and I put myself in the mindset of *managing* the drive, no longer *driving* it.
But what does that mean? It's simple: It means you sit there, and you supervise the autopilot. You make sure it performs within specs, and you keep your eyes out for situations that might get it in trouble (as opposed to seeking those conditions and then complaining it almost killed you). When flying an airplane and you encounter near coffee spilling bumps, it's time to get your hands on the yoke and throttle, ready to disconnect the autopilot/autothrottle if it gets worse (or it disconnects on its own because it can't keep up). Do the same thing in the car when conditions warrant it. Drive tactically, stay away from other traffic as best as possible. Work WITH the autopilot, not AGAINST it. When I drive on a highway, my eyes are several hundred meters ahead and in the back. AP in Nav mode never even comes close to anticipating as well as I can when it is time to switch lanes (I hence rarely if ever use Nav mode). I want to stay out of the way of the hurried ones in the right lane (left lane for northern hemisphereans) while not getting stuck behind a slow mover in the left lane (right lane in the north). That takes looking a lot further than the radar/cameras can do with present day tech. The forward looking radar in my Model S will pick up targets that are new only about 80 meters out. Targets moving away from me can stay in the radar range up to 110m for cars, and 150m for a truck with a large radar cross section. That still doesn't even come close to how far out I'm scanning visually when driving myself.
It's unfortunate that Tesla appear hellbent on forcing FSD on everyone even though it's a long way off, and refuses to spend manpower on improving the "drive management" way of driving by supporting better partial automation.