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Ten reasons why ICE cars are better than EVs

Discussion in 'Model S' started by Haxster, Mar 31, 2017.

  1. Haxster

    Haxster Member

    Joined:
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    1. Can roast marshmallows on your exhaust manifold

    2. Can rev your engine at stop lights

    3. Can “off” yourself with carbon monoxide

    4. Can show off your engine bay to friends and neighbors

    5. Can add fancy aftermarket exhaust tips

    6. Can schmooze with the smog test station guy

    7. Helps warm up a cold garage when you drive in

    8. Wind, rattles, and tire noise are less noticeable

    9. Harder for your teenager to quietly sneak out

    10. More convenient to get your cigs, beer, lotto tickets, & Ho-Ho’s at the gas station

    Happy April fools’ day!
     
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  2. S4WRXTTCS

    S4WRXTTCS Active Member

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    11.) Gets the human plague off this planet faster by making the planet unsuitable for humans.

    12.) Sniffing gas relieves boredom.
     
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  3. croman

    croman Active Member

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    13) helps fund terrorism or despotic regimes, giving print newspapers continued life.

    14) keeps lungs from staying too healthy allowing doctors to stay in business.

    15) can ICE EV charging spots.
     
  4. majcina

    majcina Member

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    Maryland
    16. Working in unison as the oxymoronically named ICE team, can melt polar ice caps, ridding us of those pesky polar bears and emperor penguins.

    17. Simply by gunning it, can double as weapons of mass destruction by spewing noxious and offensive fumes toward all those foolish enough to drive behind you.

    18. Are amazing recycling machines, capable of making use of the corpses of 300,000,000 year old trees and dinosaurs which, otherwise, might sit underground as untapped resources until the end of time. Such a waste!

    19. Increase jobs in America. There are literally hundreds of smog check and emissions testing government employees whose livelihoods depend on you!

    20. Help keep ugly architecture out of view. Without smog, eyesores like these would mortally wound our occipital cortices:
    IMG_1179.JPG
     
  5. ACExpress

    ACExpress Member

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    21. Can both melt snowflakes literally and bring them to surface metaphorically.
     
  6. UberEV1

    UberEV1 Member

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    Location:
    San Jose, CA
    22. Provides hours of DIY entertainment replacing oil and oil filters, fuel filters, air filters, spark plugs, adjusting points, engine timing, replacing alternators, oil pan gaskets, brake pads (more frequently), clutch plates, starter motors . . . wow, I'm getting tired just thinking of all this ICE entertainment.
     
  7. NikeWings

    NikeWings Active Member

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    Los Angeles
    23. Improves cussing skills while standing in the snow or sleet or rain or heat, pumping gas.
     
  8. S4WRXTTCS

    S4WRXTTCS Active Member

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    Snohomish, WA
    24. The smell of gas on your hands after pumping gas.
     

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