Tesla humor?

[Gynob001]

I took my Tesla for a tire rotation. The mechanic looks at me and says, I thought this runs on electricity!
I was so proud of the 17" monitor until my wife replaced it with a mirror. Now I hold the cell phone next to her ear while she applies makeup while driving.
I was showing off my Tesla and this guy asks where was the cup holder. I said it is behind my shoulder (very inconvenient location). He asked how do you reach for it. I say, you don't-you just say "coffee" and it slides forward. He was excited and asked whether he could try it. I click the talk button without him knowing and he says coffee. The voice says, Command not understood. He was awestruck and kept saying coffee in different tones.

 

[Beckler]

What would a Tesla manager say to his salespeople if someday they have a sale on new battery packs? Cell, cell, cell.

 

[Gynob001]

Great

What would a Tesla manager say to his salespeople if someday they have a sale on new battery packs? Cell, cell, cell.

Love it-Hope it is not Cell D size! We are happy with S.

 

[AudubonB]

Q: How were you able to afford a Tesla?
A: I didn't use to try to make a living as a humorist.

 

[AnOutsider]

Q: How were you able to afford a Tesla?
A: I didn't use to try to make a living as a humorist.

/thread.

 

[Gynob001]

Tesla humor

/thread.

Why didn't the audience appreciate Tesla humor?
It went too fast.

How did the audience react to Tesla humor?
It was electrifying.

What was good about the humor?
It was specific donuts and volts.

 

[Gynob001]

Mind sensing car

Already mind controlled prosthesis are in the works. I humbly submit that mind controlled cars needed for the future. Biggest advantage- the car won't drive itself when I am too stoned or drunk to drive. It also will help to over ride back seat drivers as you program it only to follow your thoughts.
It could sense your mood and help to avoid road rage situations. It could search dictionary and give you choose words to curse other cars as current curse words would not apply to an inanimate automobile. Instead of idiot, moron, stupid, and other abuses, you could use "screw loose", "nut case", "bolt hole", "a few ball bearings missing", etc.
when arguing about which exit to take or which restaurants to visit, the mind reading would sense your thoughts and take you to the place you want- you can argue all you want with your family.
There are many more advantages- that would make new models available every year with more features.

 

[Johan]

Already mind controlled prosthesis are in the works. I humbly submit that mind controlled cars needed for the future. Biggest advantage- the car won't drive itself when I am too stoned or drunk to drive. It also will help to over ride back seat drivers as you program it only to follow your thoughts.
It could sense your mood and help to avoid road rage situations. It could search dictionary and give you choose words to curse other cars as current curse words would not apply to an inanimate automobile. Instead of idiot, moron, stupid, and other abuses, you could use "screw loose", "nut case", "bolt hole", "a few ball bearings missing", etc.
when arguing about which exit to take or which restaurants to visit, the mind reading would sense your thoughts and take you to the place you want- you can argue all you want with your family.
There are many more advantages- that would make new models available every year with more features.

Stoned my man. Stoned.

 

[Ostkaka]

Thats a thick car floor, are you a smuggler?
No, they cell it like this


That car really is the best in every regard
Yea, its eclectric


Thats a nice car, but do they have any other models?
No, just one models

 

[ckessel]

Sometimes, when approaching the car with someone that hasn't seen it before, I'll say "Tesla, I'm here" and it's roughly about the time the handles slide out.

Almost always gets an awed "The car knows your voice?"

 

[HankLloydRight]

Oh, I like that!

 

[AudubonB]

• Chickensevil on his latest thoughts re build-out of the battery gigafactory:

  This has the benefit of not needing to wait for a 1000 acre building to be fully built before they can start moving in equipment and getting stuff rolling. Instead they build a tiny building maybe the size of 100-200 acres.

  
  And RubberToe musing on BadChick's comment:

  You don't often see quotes like this except around here...

  
  
  ​

 

[mknox]

 

[RedFiveZero]

True story: My daughter (age 8) and I were driving in my MS when it started to rain. She exclaims, "I hope the car get hit with lightning!" I respond, "what? why would you want that?" to which she says, "Because the Tesla will be fully charged."

 

[bestellen]

Q: Why did the Priest drive a Model S?
A: His prayers were answered!

And...speaking of Priests, why did the Model S 'get hitched'?
A: It had a 'burning desire'

 

[Beckler]

I wonder if the new Enhanced Autopilot is going to have a police chase mode. It will temporarily ignore the speed limits and also take the maximally evasive route in its attempt to flee - all the while not endangering the public. Therefore when the battery finally dies, the arresting officer won't be able to lecture you about "Do you know how many people you put in danger back there?". Everything I know about this (and life in general) I learned from watching Cops.

I believe I read that the delay in 8.1 release is getting the autopilot cameras to detect spike strips and also getting the frunk to lock down in police chase mode - since that's where most drivers keep their drugs.

 

[bestellen]

Q: What's a Tesla and golf course have in common?
A: They charge for the driving range.

 

[muleferg]

That's a Goodun

 

[Roger_wilco]

Which one is worst, a drunk Tesla driver in a gas station trying to refill with a gas pump, or a drunk ICE driver in a supercharger station trying to refill with an electron pump?

 

[Zapped]

Which one is worst, a drunk Tesla driver in a gas station trying to refill with a gas pump, or a drunk ICE driver in a supercharger station trying to refill with an electron pump?

Does the Tesla driver get shorted on gas and the ice driver shocked when there is none ?