So no. There are no excuses. Vehicle MUST, I emphasize, MUST consume less than 100mA when asleep.
Why must an EV align itself with ICE standards? And which standard? Many ICE cars also have an ignition off draw (IOD) fuse that gets pulled when the car is shipped to reduce draw even more. How low at what cost for what benefit?
One mile of range is 250Wh, at 12V that is 20Ah or so, or a draw of 835 mA. Is losing a mile a day a big problem?
App functionality has nothing to do with parasitic draw.
Sure it does. For the app functionality to work requires an active two way communication cell or Wi-Fi along with a network processor.
Vehicles with limited power resources use low power receivers or polled/ triggered active systems such as unlock on door button press or handle pull. To active instantaneous response via app requires an already existing connection. To do wake on approach requires, at a minimum, a fast poll rate.
Sure there are ways to do it using secondary application specific processors, but that takes extra development time and introduces complexity. Tesla used a system that provided high confidence of working instead of optimizing power draw. Seems reasonable to me.