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Tesla Press Release -- New Division Tesla Cryogenics

Discussion in 'Model X: Ordering, Production, Delivery' started by pvogel, Feb 18, 2016.

  1. pvogel

    pvogel Member

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    #1 pvogel, Feb 18, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2016
    Feb 18, 2016 -- Palo Alto, CA

    Today Tesla CEO Elon Musk announced a new division of Tesla Motors corporation to stand alongside their Car and Energy divisions: Tesla Cryogenics

    "Ummm. We just, you know, noticed that some of our customers were, um, having an unusually high incidence of stroke or myocardial infarctions as they waited for delivery of their Model X. As we researched the cause, it was pretty obvious we could do something about this! It turns out that for many of our customers, the anticipation of these engineering marvels was just getting too much. After spending hours and hours on Tesla Motors Club (not affiliated with Tesla) and our own forums at forums.teslamotors.com and seeing others get their cars, bad stuff just started happening; for some it was a stroke, for others it was a heart attack. So we've decided to take our battery cooling technology we developed for our cars, combine with the Tesla Energy Grid power units to produce a cryogenic sleep. Customers who just can't stand waiting anymore can visit our factory in Fremont, get a factory tour and then enter the Tesla Cryogenics Pod. We'll bring them out of their brief hiatus from reality when it's time to take delivery of their Model X. For now the technology is only good for a few weeks, um. maybe a few months but we hope that with our pioneering customers this could eventually be used for those with serious diseases who want to wait for a cure, and, of course, there are some obvious applications for travel to Mars, and even beyond. Space X is also taking a serious look at how we can adopt this technology for long-distance space travel."

    Pricing is expected to begin at $5000 with the cost reduced by $200 per week you are in the Cryo unit. "We just thought it made sense to align our interests with our customers interests, so the longer it takes us to produce their car, the less they have to pay us for the cryogenic sleep". A spokes person for Tesla Motors indicated that the $5000 cost could be covered by the $5000 deposit on the Model X. Tesla indicated that pods are available immediately for expectant customers.
     
  2. roblab

    roblab Active Member

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    I must assume this is true, pvogel.

    And it makes sense. Too many people stroking out while waiting. This does not even take into account the expense of mood altering drugs needed by those who tend to go crazy, screaming, "Where's my X????!!!!" , over and over.

    But the price: $5000, I am assuming is per week. if this is reduced $200 each week, it sounds like after about 6 months it is free, and then they would be paying you. And we all know waiting over 6 months is a possiblity. Tesla would still be doing fine letting you sleep that long, but if they dug up too many negative posts, the power might... well, who knows. Even with Powerwall protection!
     
  3. deonb

    deonb Active Member

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    "And we do promise to always have a spare Cryo unit available should yours need servicing... unless we manage to sell it in which case we'll stick you in the Frigidaire in the break room."
     
  4. aesculus

    aesculus Still Trying to Figure this All Out

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    Forget the strokes or other ailments. You need Tesla Cryogenics to put you into stasis while you wait for your Model X so you are not too old to enjoy it when it finally gets delivered.
     
  5. pvogel

    pvogel Member

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    LOL!

    I forgot to mention: "And, of course, every CryoPod has an always-on connection to the internet so that we can monitor the status of your CryoPod and ensure that problems are resolved before they become an issue to the sleeper. We're also monitoring for abuse of the system to prevent people like the NY Times or TopGear from giving us a bad review of their sleep experience"

    Peter+

    - - - Updated - - -

    No, it's $5000 straight up, the point is to align the customer's interests (get my Tesla NOW) with the company's interests (we lose $200 every week we make this customer wait in CryoSleep).

    Peter+
     
  6. goneskiian

    goneskiian Active Member

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    Brilliant! Sign me up!

    Oh wait. Maybe I should place my order first. ;-)
     

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