I think the difference is that when you order from Ford and they tell you 6-8 weeks, there's a pretty good chance that after 6-8 weeks, regardless of how opaque the process may be, you end up getting your car. I'm at 18 weeks with no updates as to when the car might be done or what phase it is in. Ford tells you how long it is going to take, something Tesla tried to do with "Early 2016", "Mid 2016", and "Late 2016" for different models and options, but now most people's delivery specialists are reluctant to give them any date at all, understandably after many false expectations were set and missed with people's delivery dates. My MyTesla page still shows the car as being delivered in March. How much will I trust the information on this page in the future? You also mention "a rather large list of buyers in front of you" as well as "delivery of your car is dependent on the configuration you choose" as factors in the timing of receiving one's car - logically these would make sense, however the cars seem to be delivered in a much more haphazard fashion, with vehicles ordered later with options that supposedly would be produced later being delivered earlier in many cases.
Expectations indeed - I don't even really care what expectations Tesla sets, as long as they stick to them. That way the customers can calibrate their expectations from there.
Obviously, once production started things did not go as planned, which meant that Tesla was not going to meet the expectations they had set. Instead of communicating about the problems and re-setting people's expectations, most DSs just stonewalled.