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The Autopilot Song

Discussion in 'Tesla Motors' started by malcolm, Jul 22, 2016.

  1. malcolm

    malcolm Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2006
    Messages:
    2,143
    Hopefully this will be annoying enough to stick in everyone’s brain.


    A new Tesla owner sits and types at a computer, and sings:

    Wrote a post online,
    About my brand new Tesla,
    Not driving like it should in my head.
    “This Autopilot sucks, it jerked and swerved and scared me!”
    And this is what the forum guys said:

    Splitscreen showing four people at computers in different locations and times of day/night:

    CHORUS
    “All together now T M C,
    Keep your mind on your driving,
    Keep your hands on the wheel,
    And keep your mark-one eyeballs on the road ahead,
    Autopilot’s cool,
    But far from autonomic,
    It’s just a learner driver instead.”

    Cut back to the owner, driving a Tesla, calling hands-free:

    Phoned up the store,
    About my brand new Tesla,
    Not driving like it should in my head.
    “I gave my car a name – so that should make it conscious”
    And this is what the Tesla staff said:

    Cut to a Tesla store. Looking horrified, the staff listen in to the phone call:

    CHORUS
    “All together now, O M G!
    Keep your mind on your driving,
    Keep your hands on the wheel,
    For God’s sake keep your eyes on the road ahead!
    Autopilot’s quick,
    But can’t anticipate things,
    You supply that function instead.”

    Back to the owner, sitting in a coffee house, texting on a smartphone:

    Tweeted Elon Musk,
    About my brand new Tesla,
    Not driving like it should in my head.
    “Don’t like this learning curve - just disable it coz I say so!”
    And this is what the CEO said:

    And in my dream, we cut to the Hawthorne underground skunkworks – a crowd of busy people divides to reveal:

    CHORUS
    “All together now,
    Seriously? Dude,
    Keep your mind on your driving,
    Keep your hands on the wheel,
    And please just keep your eyes on the road ahead,
    Autopilot’s good,
    And in set situations,
    It’s safer than a human instead.”

    “Yes, even you.”
    It’s safer than a human instead.
    “And me too.”
    It’s safer than a human instead.
    “But - mostly you.”
    It’s safer than a human instead.

    (Someone hands him a glowing touchscreen)

    “I pulled your car’s data logs.”
    It’s safer than a human instead.
    “Sheesh!”
    It’s safer than a human instead.
    “Full Autonomy can’t come soon enough”
    It’s safer than a human instead.



    Blackout


    I need to get out more.

    Based on Seven Little Girls recorded by the Avons
     
    • Like x 1
  2. malcolm

    malcolm Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2006
    Messages:
    2,143
    Didn't mean annoying; meant irritatingly catchy.

    My bad.
     
  3. peter_wallace

    peter_wallace Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2016
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Florida
    Well said.
     
  4. S4WRXTTCS

    S4WRXTTCS Active Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    1,177
    Location:
    Snohomish, WA
    Nah, I'm just going to drive on AP like Elon's wife.

    Err, I mean ex-wife. :p
     
  5. peter_wallace

    peter_wallace Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2016
    Messages:
    9
    Location:
    Florida
    lol :D
     

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