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The best 85D ever, 2015 $68K 16,800miles

Discussion in 'Tesla for Sale' started by Wasatch, Aug 21, 2017.

  1. Wasatch

    Wasatch Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2015
    Messages:
    24
    Location:
    Utah
    You know, Model S is a pretty great car.

    Way better than those garbage German cars we used to drive. Remember the leaking steering racks, the broken fuel pumps, turbo failure, the leaky air suspension, the vanos grenade? Remember that feeling in your stomach when you got a call from the service advisor telling you what it was going to take to get your car fixed? Man, those were dark days.

    Those days are over thanks to JB Straubel. Oops, I mean Elon. (There goes my invitation to Elon’s next wedding).

    But this particular Model S is probably the best Model S of all time. Why you ask?

    I'm glad you asked.

    Behold, the 85D of your dreams. Perfectly clean, perfectly maintained, just the right options, and offered at a price that will have you trying not to sprain your wrist as you scramble to get your wallet out first.


    First the clean:
    This car has never seen an automatic car wash. It gets gentle care by me every time it is at all dirty all year round. Yes, me. Not some backwards-hat-wearing, “no problem bro”, way-too-much-weed-smoking, high-school-dropout detail service.
    No way.
    I wash this beauty and I am diagnosable OCD. Nothing but microfiber. I polish it with a Porter Cable 7424 and a line of Menzerna bottles once a year in a day-long labor of devotion. Don’t get me started on Tesla clear coat.

    Way back when the car was dropped off at the Tesla store from the factory, a chipper guy named Bill called me to say he would detail it and I could pick it up the next day. I told wild Bill he could keep his dirty mitts off the car and I would do it myself. But I said it nicely. He complied.

    Trust me, it looks better than those dusty derelicts on the Tesla showroom floor. The car has just a single tiny paint chip in the hood for personality – like a beauty mark, really. Otherwise the paint is perfect and there have been no accidents, no body work, no birds allowed too close, and no dents or door dings. Not a one. No joke.

    Plus the inside is more awesome than your Model S.

    How is that possible?

    Well, do you have textile seats? Of course you don’t, because you fell for the leather.

    Oh sure, the leather is nice on day one, but that seat bolster on the driver’s left always looks like junk after 3 months. Leather needs cleaning, conditioning, and it ages about as well as the average 80-year-old chain-smoking Hollywood former starlet. It gets shiny, dirty, wrinkly, and stained.

    Tesla cloth seats look brand new for life. They need no care except a vacuum. The side bolster does not sag. And, as an added bonus, when you turn on the seat heater it gets warm in 30 seconds because the cloth does not block the heat from your freezing keister (like leather does).

    This car still smells good too.

    Another thing: you know how new leather steering wheels lose the dry feel and matte finish after a few months? They get all shiny and greasy from human hands? Not mine. It is still like new. It looks so good that you would think I used the force to steer my car and never touched the wheel. Maybe I do.

    This 85D looks so nice that when I park like I did in the photos below, people don’t leave mean notes on my car or take photos to shame me on the internet. They bring roses and lay them down in front of the car to express their admiration.

    Next, the perfectly maintained:

    Under 17,000 miles, never had an issue, problem, glitch, or hitch. It just had its second annual service at Tesla where I am pretty sure they did nothing all because the car is flawless. Just gave the car their blessing and waited for me to bring the loaner back. It has 6 more years of battery and powertrain warranty and 2 more years of complete factory warranty for everything else.

    Perfect alignment (checked every year for the heck of it), wheels are straight and smooth, and new tires. I don’t park by braille and my rims have no rash.

    The battery has been babied from day one. I have not seen any degradation yet. It has supercharged less than ten times ever. It comes with free supercharging for life.

    Options:
    1- A seven-seater is just better. The rear-facing seats rock.
    2- No glass roof means a lighter car! Some guy on these forums (who is a genius) said that the glass weighs like 150 pounds more (or maybe it was a thousand pounds) and that the car for sure is way faster than the other 85Ds on the road because of this. This is the part where most forums regress into “butt-dyno” talk. I think I will stop here.
    3- No glass roof means no unpleasant odors of roasting human flesh in a solar oven in the summer.
    4- You don’t want an automatic lift gate. They take too long to close and could ruin your getaway if you rob a bank. Plus, it is just one more fancy thing to break in 10 years.
    5- Audi taught me that air suspension will always leak, eventually. Prove me wrong Elon, prove me wrong.
    6- Tesla’s “basic” options at the time pretty much included the tech package and make this car very nice and very luxurious. What kind of a diva are you anyway?
    7- Free Supercharging. Even though paid supercharging is not likely to be very expensive, free is still better. Tesla owners are obviously into “free”. I know this because I see them lingering around local superchargers wasting valuable time a few blocks from home in order to get 75 cents of free juice. It’s amazing.
    8- The car has autopilot 1 hardware. Give tesla $3Kand turn it on if you are into that kind of thing.

    Price: $68K

    I know, that seems crazy low. I should really ask three times that. But you know, looking out for your fellow man and all.
    So, why am I selling such a masterpiece? I have P100D envy. Also diagnosable.

    PM me if you have questions.

     

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  2. TehDoak

    TehDoak Member

    Joined:
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    37
    Location:
    Northeast PA
    10/10, would park way too close to at the mall.
     
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  3. rocketshipp85

    rocketshipp85 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2016
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    Location:
    MD
    That's by far the best tesla for sale description I've ever seen, a new owner will be very happy with his new car. Congrats on your new P100D
     
  4. NewGalena

    NewGalena New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2017
    Messages:
    3
    Location:
    utah
    Eagerly looking to acquire a Model S "D" - just moved to Park City from SC, and my M3 (which has a handful of the issues you reference in your write-up...) will not work in the snow. It looks like you are both model- and geographically ideal...is the car still available?

    Thanks!
    BILL
     
  5. Wasatch

    Wasatch Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2015
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Utah
    #5 Wasatch, Aug 22, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2017
    When you backyard looks like this in the winter, you need a "D". Yes this photo was taken near my backyard last winter.

    PM sent.
     

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  6. stan23

    stan23 Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Santa Clara, CA
    Love the ad and the car!
     
  7. Wasatch

    Wasatch Member

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    Location:
    Utah
    Offer has been tentatively accepted. Still some details to work out.
     
  8. hmmm

    hmmm Member

    Joined:
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    Driver Seat
    With an ad like that, you deserve above asking!
     
  9. Wasatch

    Wasatch Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2015
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    Location:
    Utah
    The deal fell through! Your prayers have been answered!

    Yes, this beauty is back on the market. Please form a single file line as you make your offers. The management appreciates your cooperation.

    IMG_5733.JPG IMG_5727.JPG
     
  10. Wasatch

    Wasatch Member

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    Location:
    Utah
    Price drop to $66,000! Can you believe it? It is your lucky day.
     
  11. mcbarnet007

    mcbarnet007 Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    San Jose, CA
    your MS has one of the tightest panel gap I've seen. Hopefully your luck continues!
     
  12. Wasatch

    Wasatch Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2015
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    Location:
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    Sold!
     
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  13. gg_got_a_tesla

    gg_got_a_tesla Model S: VIN P65513, Model 3 Res Holder

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2010
    Messages:
    6,197
    Location:
    Redwood Shores, CA
    Congrats! That was one sweet deal for a non-P brother of mine.

    Enjoy the P100D when you get it; I'm sure it'll get even more love.
     
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