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the rate at which this car chews thru tires is insane

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Keep in mind that even a slightly off alignment will chew through tires faster.

Also, tire wear increases as a square of speed, so you get NINE times the wear at say ninety vs thirty miles per hour

Only one time in the last thirty years of driving have I had a set of tires make it past 27K miles; most are done in the 15-25 thousand mile range.

This is because I like to drive fast.

I’ve mostly lived in the western USA, so we can actually drive fast out this way.

And then there are snow tires, which don’t wear at all if you only drive them on snow & ice...
 
The 2021's have a new Pirelli Zeros, me personally never had good luck with Pirellis, will see how these wear.
During the week drive like grandma, weekends a different story. :)
I hate Pirelli - always had bad luck and they get noisy and dry after 6 months. My 991.2 came with them, 996TT had them, new 21 Cayenne GTS has them. I look forward to Pirellis wearing out so they can get Michelins.
 
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I purchased mine used off eBay. Have had it for a little over 10 years now.
The really unique ones are the V8s. Is yours one of those, by any chance? Those are EXPENSIVE! :)

The recommended pressures, while good for mileage, will wear the center of the tires faster. At some point Tesla changed from 45 PSI to 42 PSI, which is still high.
I was wondering about a higher wear at the center too, even at the recommended 42 on my 2021 LR. However, with the wheels being wider than they have to be (basically leaving no wheel protection), I think it's less of an issue. But curious if true or not, and what owners are doing about it. I might lower the pressure to 40, with the possible exception of long trips.

As far as wear, I got 31K miles on MXM4s of exactly the same size as my 2021 LR on a Kia Optima SX-L, with quite a bit less power than this car, and also quite a bit lighter. So I expect to get less miles on this car. We'll see :).