The cars are not custom made. When you order they don't spin the machines up in CA and start to work on your car. They will make batches of configurations. Paint color, interior color, etc and then ship those based on the best logistics for them. Since Wall Street bases the "life" of Tesla on how many cars they sell every quarter, Tesla does everything in their power to get them out the door. Because of that, towards the start of the quarter they will manufacture batches of cars for overseas, then they will switch to East coast destined cars, and then start switching towards cars that are planned for central United States an West coast. It's nice they're willing to just delay the delivery and let you sit on the order and wait for a different car, again, Wall Street looks at every single car not delivered as a nail in the coffin for Tesla; it would be nice if we could change that view point. (Btw, with other auto manufactures, when they hand off the car from Chevy to the dealer, that counts as the sale, so they don't give a crap how long it sits on the lot, it's off their books.)
So the problem you likely are in is that you've missed the cycle of cars being made for your area and loaded on trains to be shipped out. They're more than willing to hold your order for you, but you need to wait for the factory to make another batch of your color combo with the new updates this time and then ship them across the states to you. The quarter ends in March, so late March or April seems like a very reasonable time frame for them to get a new car to you.
What you could do is let the sales advisor (whichever one will readily take your calls, I do agree that Tesla falls down on that part, but the company is heavily designed for you to do everything online and just get a text notice or account update when the car is ready for delivery) that you're open to changing color combos or wheel sizes if they can locate a car that isn't already assigned to someone for delivery but includes the updates.
If that doesn't work, you might be able to ask to get assigned to a vehicle on the west coast that matches your preferred color combo and has the updates, fly out to take delivery, and drive it home.
Otherwise you're unfortunately out of luck; though you do always have the ability to delay delivery and get exactly what you want... just know it's hard waiting a little longer!
Good luck!
(Btw, I took delivery in late October right before the slightly larger battery, heated steering wheel, console change, etc. My car has just about 1,000 miles on it right now and you know what, still the best car I've ever owned. I can still be very happy with it even though I just missed those changes. Also, personally, the old style console was much nicer. Yes it needed paint protection film to keep scratches away, or a wrap, but it had the slickest opening mechanisms out there... now they just get a dumb sliding open or close lid!)