The trouble is that personal testimonies, although important for the people experiencing them, are not reliable guides for new buyers. I had a Honda that did 120k miles over 5 years and apart from a new exhaust section and regular servicing it was totally reliable - dull as dishwater, but reliable. I also had a BMW with similar mileage that was faultless and needed no visits to the workshop apart from regular servicing which was probably once every 20k miles. I lost money on the servicing deal on that one! I had another BMW that needed a new A/C heat exchanger and compressor, two new steering racks, and a new alternator within its first year.
To get a reasonable view of reliability you need to look at large sample sizes and the organisations that do that regularly find Tesla languishing somewhere near the bottom. It doesn't mean that most cars are lemons of course - in fact, even the worst brands/models show that only a fairly small proportion of cars have problems. My own Model 3 has been 100% reliable and in fact had only a few very small faults at delivery that the SC sorted without issue or delay.
What I would say, and I think even Elon has admitted as much, is that the Model 3's body design is not as good as it ought to be - it's overly complicated leading to higher manufacturing costs, and as
@Glan gluaisne said on another post in this thread, leads to cars coming off the line that need rework - often after delivery (poor panel gaps, alignment issues etc).
Finally, on the software update front - it will be interesting to see what happens when Tesla start to have a legacy of models. Right now, all the models in the line up are current (until the new Model S comes along) so pushing out new releases to them all is sort of understandable. But at some point there will be a replacement for the Model 3 and the Y. I wouldn't like to bet that updates will continue to flow. Maybe I'm wrong (and I could well be), but the more the model range branches out the more difficult it will be to keep updates running on all the variants. At some point I can see Tesla making some models end-of-life for updates - just like pretty much all software vendors eventually do.